Loneliness in a Hyper-Connected Society

September 07, 2020 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Back in March of 2019, I jotted down in my notes: “What are the pros and cons of being so connected through technology in this day and age?” Now, over a year later, I find this question almost even more relevant and worth considering. It is incredibly fascinating that through today’s technology we can contact anyone in the world at any given minute and conduct work or school from the comfort of our own homes, among many other things. While I recognize the extreme benefits, there are moments when I feel that our machines and devices are tipping the scales of connectivity, entering into a realm where we are actually more isolated as individuals.

The ability to gather international news and access an incomprehensible amount of resources from the palms of our hands, are just two of the ways that technology has forever shaped society. And it is definitely a balance, because without these means to connect, we’d lack even more empathy in the world, as it would be incredibly hard to maintain awareness for others outside of our social bubbles. Yet, there is a special energy that requires us to get breaths of fresh air and open ourselves up to factors of life that span beyond standard screen sizes. I definitely took for granted the ease of being able to get out and meander in spaces, an activity that exposes us to strangers and allows for the magic and beauty of unexpected conversations. These days, it’s easy to virtually transport oneself across the globe or even complete daily errands like grocery shopping, without even leaving the couch.

With such hyper-connectivity, it is easy to slip into the territory of loneliness and isolation – sometimes without even realizing that it is happening. In my own experience, even if I am able to manage keeping up friendships and enhancing my worldly knowledge from behind the screen, I tend to lose my internal sense of being grounded. Physically enjoying nature, being in people’s presence, and getting to separate work life from my personal space, are all things that encourage my overall wellbeing. After long extents of relying on digital means to satisfy my human need to connect and engage, I find that I then tend to log off with an extreme sense of personal discontent. Moments that I get to spend with the people I love and the small adventures like walking to get takeout are the mini wins that I have learned are key to my own personal sanity.

In an effort to stay hopeful and honor ourselves through the actions that make us happiest, it is so important that we make space for the people and activities that keep us tuned into our best selves. While we oddly are feeling the restrictions of being physically bound within our homes, the lines delineating our personal, professional, and social lives have become completely blurred. It is okay to not have everything figured out, or to feel completely lost in a society that is outlining exactly where we should or shouldn’t be this year.

I have a lot to thank technology for and without the innovations of today’s world, I would be feeling an incredible void. The opportunities I have had, the people I cherish most, even this blog, are all aspects of my life that have benefitted from the ability to transcend time and distance through devices. However, the seed of our souls were not planted to thrive with machinery alone. It takes a healthy dose of other elements to keep us balanced as humans. This equilibrium can be achieved when we are intentional with our utilization of modern technology. Predetermining our goals when we unlock our phones or log on to our computers can be incredibly beneficial; whether we are heading into a work Zoom, hoping to connect with someone, or dedicating recreational perusing of social media, making mindful decisions can keep us in charge of our time and happiness.

Stay hopeful everyone and continue finding safe ways to spark joy! xoxo

Compounding Change

May 16, 2020 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Amidst these unique times, change has become obvious. We see differences in the way we navigate everyday activities, and modes of adaptation are at the top of the agenda as we discuss what our post-pandemic future may look like. As we continue to learn how to cope with the ever-evolving situation that our world is battling, we are also still experiencing the inevitable trials of human life that have always existed. Personally, I find myself dealing with immense feelings of change as I graduate college and attempt to transition into a new phase of life during this universal uncertainty.

I am grappling with the reality that this current position is not what I had visualized for myself when I dreamt of becoming an official Berkeley graduate. The long-term planner in me had assumed that logically my first step in the real world would be to place my foot in the door of a stable career. After spending months preparing for dream opportunities, my prospects dissolved given the economic circumstances. However, in addition to a degree, my college years also bestowed me with valuable lessons that I believe will carry me farther than any formal education could. Once I got accepted into Berkeley, I thought I crossed off a big item from my life agenda; but, come freshman year I realized that there were holes in my fairly linear plan. I hadn’t thoroughly considered how my time at Berkeley would impact my identity beyond the classroom. Being a student was so engrained within me, and I soon found that there were points in my college career where my bigger objectives were to manage my relationships and maintain my health. Now - as I sit here writing this from the vantage point of straying from what I felt was a secure, original blueprint - I recognize that this period ahead is asking me to apply my larger ambitions and lessons to manifest abundance in all aspects of my life. Juggling the multitude of emotions and experiences over these last few years has essentially been like training my brain to stay balanced on a surfboard in an effort to ride out the waves of life with as much strength and confidence as possible.

Balance cannot be achieved without training one’s focus. And, while the chaotic global climate has not been overwhelmingly positive, I will say that it has given me the gift of perspective. Last week, I took a solemn walk on campus as a goodbye gesture to the place I have considered home for the last four years. I noticed so many more details than my buzzy, rushed walks to classes ever allowed me to observe. My separation due to quarantine granted me with the ability to relish in the minutiae that I would not otherwise have missed until it was too late to soak them in one last time. A moment of epiphany occurred when I recognized that expecting this change was a blessing, and without the natural ebbs and flows of life I wouldn’t be able to enter this phase with the same brilliant force and appreciation behind me. I feel like my life up until this point has been the gradual baking and stacking of a cake; and, with my tiered foundation now in place, I am ready to continue the process towards my ultimate masterpiece, decorating myself and adding color along the way.

I suppose that in sum, we can never truly predict the dose of change that life will heap onto us; however, what we can do is choose the way we respond. In any situation it is important to stay open-minded to the lessons we may learn about ourselves, as well as foster gratitude. When we take the time to dive within and assess what we can and cannot control, we exercise our capability to remain stable during rocky times. Change has transformed our pasts into our present selves, and change is what is currently building us into better versions to embrace the future. Being thankful for growth relieves the blocks we subconsciously place on ourselves. It is by no means easy, but when we reach a point of self-trust we lose the tension and apprehension that comes with facing changes.

These are scary times for many, and as we continue to face the natural ripples that affect us, we are also all weathering out this global tsunami. I encourage you all to notice your own strength and capabilities – your entire life up until this point has been one extensive course on how to stay afloat, and if you continue to hone in on maintaining your equilibrium, you will not have to fear even the biggest of breakers. While life can seem stagnate at times, other stages offer more action and require more adaptation. Let us not fail to remember that we have all survived changes before, and we have the power to conquer what may lie ahead. xoxo

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

— Rumi

Critiquing What We Appreciate Without a Crisis

November 14, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

The question “What would you do if you only had 24 hours to live?” often elicits a response that does not reflect the person’s usual day-to-day life. This begs the bigger question of why the person isn’t naturally leading a life more reflective of their deepest values and desires. It has taken mass shootings to get people to advocate for change and enact laws to protect citizens. It has taken natural disasters for people to realize that we need to be more conscious of our environmental impact and implement policies that ensure that communities have access to resources. And, sometimes, once it is too late, we find that we have so many things we wish we could tell someone. Why does it take the verge of breaking points, tragedies, and crises to spark within us the values and considerations that we should be guiding our lives with consistently?

Watson’s Bay, Sydney, Australia // July 2019

Part of the issue, I believe, has to do with the lack of empathy in our society, a topic I have touched on throughout this blog. With the inability to deliberate on other people’s experiences, our society has lost the foresight of recognizing how individual actions affect the feelings and circumstances of others. Without empathy, we cannot fully appreciate life and the deep network of humanity that allows it to run in the way that many of us take for granted. For example, the next time you go to a coffee shop and treat yourself to your favorite drink, reflect on the links that have made that experience possible for you: the person behind the counter helping to serve you, the coffee farmers who worked to cultivate the very beans you will now be sipping on, and the laborers in between who shipped the products from their country of origin to where you are now enjoying them. Many of us go through our lives so quickly, isolated in our personal hectic schedules, yet there is so much indirect dependency we have on each other. So, why wait until an extreme situation to pause and see that we need to reevaluate our appreciations? Every day provides itself with an opportunity for us to inspire change and lead lives that align with our ideal versions of life.

I am in full support of the marketing and social campaigns that preach giving thanks and being especially grateful as the Thanksgiving holiday nears, but I encourage us all to really ponder on the way we are appreciating people and things in our life - this includes how we express these emotions of gratitude! Are we engaging in empathy and making decisions that have a positive impact on people in other nations or for future generations? While certain stresses and realities can get in the way at times, it is important to take time to think about ways that we are showing the people in our lives that we care and taking full advantage of the beautiful present moments we have. In some instances, we can spare dire moments through wielding tools of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and empathy in our daily routines (even if it is in a small capacity!).

As we get closer to the end of 2019 and a symbolic period of resetting, let us tap into our cores and ensure that we are on a path that allows us to live a life that speaks to our inner truth and acknowledges the togetherness that our world depends on. I hope that everyone soaks up the upcoming holiday season in whatever way provides a sense of happiness and peace. As always, thank you to everyone who supports this blog and to those who encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Smile to strangers, spread kindness, and love boundlessly – here’s to an empathy revolution! xoxo

Practicing Patience

June 15, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle, Inspiration

In today’s world it is easy to find ourselves constantly anxiety-ridden thanks to the lack of patience that our instantly gratifying technologies have trained us to have. When we feel ourselves in impatient states, we are acting as our mind and body’s worst enemy – subjecting our heart rate to a state of uneasiness and releasing stress hormones that leave unnecessary negative affects on other body systems. So what’s the remedy? Learning to take a deep breath and own up to the fact that we cannot speed up time or predict the future. We must take a look at what we have in the here and now, toss wild “what ifs” out of our minds, and recognize that at the end of the day, getting irritated over situations that deal with the difference of a few seconds or minutes aren’t worth our energy.

The first step in practicing more patience is to put ourselves in check and realize that we do not have the power to control circumstantial things like time ticking by or how other people will play their roles in the given situation. Like I’ve mentioned before, perspective plays a vital role in how we train our mind and body to react, thus we must focus our thoughts on what each moment is providing us with rather than what it is costing us. Eventually, we might find that we naturally are able to keep stress levels low since we have an overall calmness that we have become acclimated to. One way to begin this exercise is to take a deep breath whenever we feel ourselves itching to fast-forward time, followed by reminding ourselves that the current moment offers a great opportunity to reflect on what we do have and how we have positively evolved throughout past moments to get to this present moment. Next time you are at a red light feeling restless and burning for the minuscule amount of time that you are stuck in that spot to be even shorter, try to ease your mind and realize that in the scheme of life, working yourself up over minor seconds is not worth the gratitude that the stress will strip you of. Be grateful for all of life’s little moments, even if it is just a couple of seconds.

On a more long term scale, when we find ourselves trying to unravel the mysteries of future circumstances, it is important to take a step back and appreciate the potential of the immediate instants that we are only wasting if we set our sights completely on occurrences that we do not have total control over. In surrendering ourselves to a higher power and acknowledging that “everything that is meant to be, will be,” we free up our worries and allow our energy to filter towards maximizing the present moment. Looking back on our pasts, many occurrences were probably somewhat dependent on factors outside of ourselves; thus, if we allow ourselves to completely melt into what we know and have for sure, we lift an incredible weight and pressure off of our hearts and souls. In the long run, this will keep us healthy, youthful, radiant, and help us to extend our futures, so as to be able to live longer, happier lives.

Harness the fresh, transformative energy of this recent Gemini new moon to learn something new about yourself and check into your thought patterns! Every day is an opportunity to make a positive change and be happy! Here’s to a sensational weekend everyone!

How Perspective Plays a Role in Dealing With Personalities

April 29, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

One of the beauties of life is that there is so much variety to it. Life breathes through the green shards of grass beneath our feet to the tiny microorganisms we often ignore, and of course, takes the form of humanity. At the level of humanity, life reaches a whole new scope of complexity. We are exposed to and interact with people who hold different opinions, react to situations in diverse ways, and overall behave in manners unlike our own. Sometimes our encounters with people who are wildly dissimilar to us, or even with people who we are close to who don’t always meet our expectations, leave us feeling unsure of ourselves and can cause frustration or confusion at a personal level. In an effort to make interactions with others as positive as possible and to mitigate any potential negatives, it is important that we keep our perspectives in check.

When taking on the world and all that is in it, I think it is easy to see things only through our own personal lens, using our uniquely individual sights and feelings to define what is “normal.” However, the fact of the matter is that we as individuals do not represent the entirety of this universe, we have it running through us, but we are all a special combination of its characteristics. This means that when we enter into a situation involving others, we need to step back and process the idea that not everyone is a perfect replica of ourselves and that we need to keep an open mind to others’ potentially different approaches. By avoiding turning to our default setting of using ourselves as a standard, we also dodge the disappointment that would come with the other person not meeting our expectations. Essentially, the goal is to expect people to be different and then be pleasantly surprised if we resonate with them more than we previously thought we would, or can at least view the situation as broadening our own perspective through trying on someone else’s lens.

We have to learn to accept people for who they are and recognize their own individual patterns in an effort to better understand the healthiest way to interact with them. If we know someone tends to air on a side much different than our own, we are at least then in the headspace of “okay so-and-so often times feels/reacts like this…,” and we can adjust our own advances in a way that is conscious of the other person’s habits. Often times in my own life, I have to remind myself of other people’s tendencies so as to better handle the situation and not get disappointed when the other person feels or acts in a way I wouldn’t. Trying to understand why someone has the viewpoint that they do also supports smooth encounters; for example, sometimes we need to be more sensitive to the other person’s background or current life circumstances.

All in all, with everything in life, I think it is important to take away the positives from every situation, so we generally should approach interactions with others as an experience to learn more about ourselves, as well as expose ourselves to the glorious array that surrounds us. Sometimes this diversity can lead to a sense of loneliness or confusion when we have repeated interactions with people that we don’t seem to completely click with, which is why we have to acknowledge everyone’s individual place and perspectives in this world. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and let your light shine as to attract others of your same vibrations, all while respecting other people’s different colored lights in the process of making new connections!

Mindful Manifestation

February 16, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Happy Friday + start of a long weekend for some of us! I know I have discussed the art of attracting what you put your mind to and how as individuals we have the power within us to physically cultivate what we visualize, but I wanted to really hone in on this again this week, hopefully adding another layer to this topic. For about the past month, I have diligently been journaling every night before bed, in addition to starting and ending my days with reflection on what I am grateful for and what went well and what I intend to improve on in coming days. I cannot emphasize enough how much this practice truly alters your perspective in the most positive ways possible and truly rewires the fibers of your being to be more in tune on picking up more of the good in life than the bad.

Since getting back in touch with myself and experiencing my intense feelings of gratitude, I realized that it makes environments that were previously neutral to become, at times, more susceptible to being uncomfortable. This is why I feel that it is important to look at manifestation from the angle of helping others to also see the positives as well, and in a sense mindfully play your role in a larger focus on all the amazing things there are in this world to be grateful for. We might not always have control over the external influencers that surround us, but we do have the power to either nurture the negativity or plant positivity. When I started this blog, my intent was to get everyone to see what they could do individually in an effort to collectively add up to a more visible change within society, so I think this is an important reminder that even by choosing to not endorse negativity on even the smallest of scales, is an act of utilizing your individual power for a greater good.

In an effort to minimize the unwanted effects of negativity onto my psyche, I like to picture a large aura of golden light acting as a shield for negativity to bounce off of and keep myself rooted in positivity. Another practice that I find super helpful is to purposefully exhale what I visualize as black smoke that may be trying to taint my inner peace. By taking the time to recenter and release what has the potential to agitate me, I become consciously reminded that it is outside factors working against me, and thus I am able to move on with my day in a manner that is solely guided by my inner positivity.

The important thing to understand is that the outside world won't always be conducive to our positivity, but that there are ways to mitigate the outside world’s effects. Taking the time to consciously recognize that we don’t need to be confined to the emotional molds that can sometimes be pressured onto us allows us to lead our lives as close to our internal scripts as possible. Keep in mind that it isn’t selfish to take time during the day to do something for yourself, like dedicate 10-15 minutes to one of your favorite activities, or just to do some deep breathing.

Have an amazing weekend everyone + remember that you have the power to protect your positivity!

Taking Back Control Over Anxiety

September 08, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

This next post has been one I’ve considered writing for a long time, but it has taken me up until this point to feel like I have the complete courage and strength to formulate my feelings and experiences into words. I want to preface what I am about to discuss though, with the fact that although the majority of this will focus on food-based anxieties, I hope to express a message that can help with conflicting, internal anxieties in general. I can’t ignore the fact that I still worry and stress about many things in my life, but I can safely say that I know what it is like to experience the suffocating effects of feeling victim to your own mind even when you know it is “wrong” to feel so extremely about something.

Currently in my sophomore year of college, I feel like I have come a long way in my journey of self-love in the past year. For the past few years I have made fitness and health a large part of my lifestyle, which naturally comes with its ups and downs, but it wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I realized my focus on healthy living was becoming an obsession that would soon start to consume my life. I started off my college career coming off of a summer where I felt like I had achieved my best self to date, and I felt my momentum carrying through this new adjustment period as I would opt for healthy meal options and block out time for working out. As the semester progressed though, eating became a torment for me. No matter what I ate, even down to a cucumber slice, I would continually mull over the nutritional content (how much fat, carbs, and protein that I estimated to be in each component of my meal). I felt myself slipping away from being in the present moment, and instead giving all of my energy into factoring whether or not I would gain weight. This became every second, every minute, and every day of my life. It felt good to go to bed with my stomach growling because in my head that meant I was in a caloric deficit and would wake up skinnier. It felt good when at the end of the day I still had 200 calories I hadn’t utilized, even though my tracker was set to a goal of a meager 1,200 caloric intake for the day. If the scale was even a mere .2 pounds heavier than the day before, I would be spiraled into the idea that “I wasn’t doing enough” and that “I was getting off track.” I would even allow that small gain to metamorphose itself into actual “weight” when I would look in the mirror, convincing myself that I did look heavier than the day before.

Egg White Veggie Scramble + Julian's Paleo Almond Flour Bread + Apricots

I began to isolate myself from the college dining halls where I knew I would be judged for barely eating or only having a salad (plus it was depressing for me to watch people eat “whatever they wanted” and not feel the pain I felt), and I realized I was pushing away those who were close to me. It wasn’t that I wanted to, and looking back I wish I could have seen what I know now and acted differently, but I literally felt compelled to feel guilty for any morsel that entered my mouth. All the reassurance people gave me did help, and any time I was able to open up to someone about the truth of how I was feeling, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders since I was no longer sitting in calculative, hidden turmoil. This dilemma haunted me through my entire first year of college and even through my trip of a lifetime in Europe. It wasn’t until I came back from the trip and found out that I had actually lost weight and achieved my all time lowest weigh-in while traveling, that it hit me that I could manage to eat “unhealthy” things and not gain. I began to try to not hold back from enjoying life and approach eating with the tactic of having small bites of things I viewed as guilt-loaded so that I felt like I had tried them, but hadn’t completely lost control. Through a process of encouraging and coaxing myself, along with making tough decisions of when to restrain from my compulsion to weigh in or track my calories for the day, I feel like I finally am at a point where I have outweighed the control and am now on a better path to recovery. Every day is not necessarily perfect, and some days I feel myself starting to get overly analytical about what I’m eating, but I try to maintain power and not succumb to the fear that wants to seep in.

Nonfat Greek Yogurt Bowl topped with blueberries + strawberries + pecans + chia seeds + honey

What I hope to impart through sharing my experiences, is that it is okay to have anxieties. No one is wrong for feeling the way they do, and it can be frustrating to feel like you are alone in feeling a certain way, to feel misunderstood, or to feel like you are acting in a way you don’t actually want to be acting in. Whether it is an anxiety with food or a different type of anxiety such as feeling compulsive about everything being in an exact order, deep down inside we all have the power to take back control. I realize that many times this is easier said than done, but just know it isn’t completely impossible. I felt trapped in my own body and I knew I wanted to let myself eat and that there actually weren’t consequences if I did eat, but for some reason I couldn’t stand up to myself. It is definitely a process that varies for anyone battling with these similar feelings. One method that helped me was to slowly begin to recognize the feelings I had and then flip my perspective so that I no longer had fear about eating, but rather recognized that I was making conscious decisions that I was proud of. Rewarding myself for even the smallest of victories (like eating an M&M and not freaking out), helped to slowly untangle my compulsiveness to track and evaluate everything. Essentially, it becomes a balancing act of being aware of uncontrollable feelings and also easing up on them a notch, until it gets to the point where the power shifts to more ease over controlling feelings.

Plate of turkey + microgreens + jicama + avocado w/ Everything Bagel seasoning + Thai Curry Hummus + mini sweet peppers

The most important message from this, is that even when you think you are alone in feeling a certain way, just know that we are all human and someone else knows how you feel in a different capacity. It might not be the exact same situation, but relative to their life, you both might be experiencing the same types of feelings. Another point I’d like to make, is that it is okay to open up to people and receive help. I know I often feel guilty when I unload my feelings onto others and so I sometimes naturally close myself off, but I have often found that it leaves others around you feeling as if they have done something wrong. Believe in the power of yourself to make a change within, and don’t feel shame in acknowledging your feelings and letting others in to help. We are all beautiful and worthy in our own individualistic ways, and as we work towards complete love and contentment with ourselves, we will see even more beauty in the world around us.

The Art of Releasing Contempt + Opening the Heart

August 20, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

In the midst of the modern world, we find ourselves working towards goals in educations, career fields, athletic scenarios, and other similar situations that can often cultivate a sense of competition. I think that this element of rivalry between our peers and those around us poses as a large hurdle we must overcome if we wish to reach a state closer to contentment and happiness. We are all beautiful, talented, and stellar human beings in our own way, so we need to learn to ease up on comparing ourselves to our counterparts and learn how to genuinely want them to succeed in life as well.

Juneau, Alaska // June 2016 — Juneau, Alaska // June 2016

Personally, I have dealt with the feelings of insecurities and inferiority in my own life, and I know it is easy to at first approach the person who is causing such feelings with an air of scorn. However, I learned a powerful lesson after reading The Art of Happiness, by Howard C. Cutler, which reflects on quotes and ideas from the Dalai Lama. In a particular portion of the book, Cutler writes of his experience on an airplane where he immediately took to disliking his seatmate without any real reason. At first Cutler allows himself to simply just go on feeling some sort of contempt for this complete stranger, but then he realizes he needs to look inward and release himself from these spiteful feelings. He forces himself to look at his seatmate and find the similarities between the two of them, eventually breaking everything down to the conclusion that they were both human beings on this planet and that everyone has their luck and challenges in life. After coming to this awareness, Cutler detached himself from negative energies and was left feeling more at peace.

Now as I move through life, if I ever feel an inkling of a grudge towards another person seep in, I remind myself to take a step back and really break down what I actually know about the person and why I feel like I have the grounds to feel the way I do. Almost every single time I end up feeling extremely liberated as I once again become cognizant of the fact that neither one of us has to be “better than the other.” We all have our own individual journeys, there is plenty of love in this universe for us all to equally receive, and another person’s beauty and light does not take away from our own.

I think that in our contemporary society it has become so normative and casual to say things like “I hate…” in reference to someone or something. In all actuality though, do we really hate what we say we do? Essentially, does not one fiber in our beings feel less than hate for this person or object? For example, even if someone said that they hated pizza, they are taking a strong side. That is saying that the person could not even find appreciation for the smaller elements like the basil, cheese, crust, toppings, or sauce that went into creating the pizza as a whole. I feel that in moving towards a more positive universe, we need to start looking at the sincerity of the things we are saying, especially when it comes to hate statements. People can definitely have opinions and dislike things or disagree, but it is important to also recognize that you can feel that way while still, after breaking something down, acknowledging feelings of admiration or empathy.

Allowing for Imperfection

August 14, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Lifestyle

Although I continue to write about the importance of staying positive, I know that at times it can be hard to see the light in every situation that we face. Sometimes as humans we cannot help ourselves from feeling sad, distraught, discouraged, or hopeless. This post will aim at helping to overcome the tougher times in life and acknowledge our natural feelings.

We cannot always predict what life has in store for us; life is a journey of ups and downs. Even the most positive of people can experience the other end of the spectrum of emotions. When life throws something at you that evokes within you some sort of sadness, grief, confusion, or anger, it is important to not get frustrated with yourself. In my own life, if I find myself extremely distressed by something, I can sometimes fall into a pit of upset. However, it is important to keep in mind that we are inclined to react to different situations in certain ways, so in order to ease our experiences through challenging emotions, we must remind ourselves that such experiences are temporary and that we do have the strength to persevere. During life’s less happy times, the key is to acknowledge what we may be feeling, and with that, acknowledge that there will be more good times ahead just like there were before we fell into a more melancholy time. This goes along with trusting that we have divine guidance for our life path and that sometimes we must go through some tough times in order for life to fall into better place.

I think it is important to also recognize that although we might not always understand the situations we go through or feel like we have the power to persist, these are feelings that come naturally to most of us and we are not abnormal in any way. Even when it feels tough to stay positive and push through, just allowing ourselves to live out our validated feelings and knowing in the back of our minds that we have the potential to return to a life of optimism, is an act of staying hopeful. I know that often times it feels as though once one bad thing happens in life, things spiral into a pattern of negativity, but we must try our best to release the little annoyances and find the little things to be happy about.

The next time you are faced with a trying situation, don’t get frustrated with yourself or with life. Or better yet, know that your frustration is valid, but that it is not the only thing you can feel. Within us all is divinity that is there to guide us if we just listen and trust. I cannot stress enough how supported we all are, even when we are physically alone. Our souls all harness the energy and power of the universe that is available for us to tap into at any time. Life will throw what seem to be bumps and unfairness along the way, but we must look at life with multi-perspectives and realize that both the good and the bad times in life are temporary.

I would like to end this post with a mantra that someone very dear to me enlightened me with. It helped me heal in a time of unexplainable darkness that I truly did not ever think I would get out of, and regardless if you have ever resonated with the feelings of a deep depression, these words are an important reminder for all points in life.

“You are worthy because you exist, you exist because you are worthy.”

Engaging in Empathy

August 06, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

This next post builds upon the idea of not just being conscious of things, but also acting with feeling and intention. The other day it hit me that one of the key components that leads to a happier, smoother life is the ability to consider the feelings of others.

The human race is a species that thrives off of connections with others. We run our best when we are surrounded by love, care, humor, and joy, all of which work as a give-and-take cycle that can only be made possible with other people. With this in mind, if we go out into the world and only act with the attitude of “what’s best for myself,” we can cause harm to our cycle of reciprocation and begin to push away the people who provide us with what we truly want and need in life. We often forget to take a step back and reflect on the potential outcomes of our actions, not only for our personal sake, but also in a way that takes into account the effect we may have on someone else. I am sure that for many of us, the last thing we would want to do is to hurt someone, let alone someone who is close to us. That’s why, it is important to ask ourselves before doing something that could have a ripple effect onto another’s life:

“Will my actions affect someone other than myself?”
“Am I willing to take the risk and potentially, knowingly hurt someone?”
“If my actions do end up harming someone, will I regret it? Is this person’s suffering worth what I am about to do?”

Essentially, it is important to weigh out the potential benefits and potential consequences of the things we do and say. This is important to do even in situations that may have virtually no effect on others, because it is important to always be conscious of how our actions and words will influence the next step or moment within our life paths.

Considering others’ feelings goes further than it’s immediate benefit (because caring about others is SO positive), but it also can help in finding appreciation in your own life. For example, if you close your eyes and truly imagine what it might be like to live in a country where health care was not accessible or you had to walk miles to get drinkable water, you might be able to actually feel the intensity of real people’s situations. Imagining what they must go through, things like being exposed to sweltering heat, yet physically pushing themselves, or showing up to work each day despite battling the worsening symptoms of a serious health condition, can put our own lives into perspective. Compassion and empathy don’t have to go as extreme as considering the conditions of another country. It can be as simple as knowing that a neighbor down the street is dealing with a tragedy, becoming conscious of how they must feel, and then possibly going out of your way to show them the love and care that exists in all of us.

This brings me to another point, which is that through empathy, we act in a way that is positively perceived by others since they feel our care and kindheartedness. When others feel you exuding such lovingness, they too will act in a way of compassion towards you, refueling that cycle that I touched upon earlier. We should keep in mind though that the ultimate goal of acting empathetically is not to receive anything in return, as being selfless in and of itself is beneficial for the soul. Basically, when we think of other people’s situations, we should treat them in a way that we would hope to be treated if we were in the same situation, because later on when it’s our turn to be on the receiving end, our considerations will be reciprocated.

The moral of the story is that without empathy we cannot reach our highest potential. We need others in our life to help us live fully and experience the essence of life, and to do our best at maintaining such relationships, we must act from a place of love. We must act in a way that considers how those around us might be feeling, so that we can therefore do our best to align our words and actions in a way that will get others to a place of more love and joy, rather than of pain and suffering. Sometimes we make mistakes, and just because we may hurt someone near to us, does not necessarily mean that they will immediately stop showing the care and love they have for us. However, over time, if we continue to ignore the feelings of others and act in selfish ways that harm those around us, they may begin to pull away and shelter their tenderness for us.

The next time you hear of someone else’s situation or go to do something that you know will have an effect beyond yourself, take a moment and think of the emotions one might feel in response. Do your best to fulfill your own happiness, but try to lessen its expense on other’s happiness. Reach out and express your empathy whenever it is possible. As we journey closer to our own happiness, we must not forget about the value of the happiness of others.

Being Pleased with the Present Moment

July 31, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

In today’s world it is so easy to get distracted by technology or lose sight of what is important. Sometimes it seems as if the likes on social media are more valuable than the personal interactions right in front of us. I recently read a quote that said:

“Nothing in this world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we are more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”

This quote really struck me when I first read it, but a week later, when I faced the end of a serious relationship I had been in, the words resonated with me on an even deeper level.

As always, I like to share the lessons and ideas that are currently inspiring me in my own life, because I know we are all human, we all experience the same feelings and emotions, and we can all often benefit from similar advice. I am taking this article back to the root concept of why I started this blog in the first place: gratitude. The idea is that we have so much to be thankful for right in front of us, and the more we show appreciation towards what we have, the more positivity we allow to flood into our lives. With the growing popularity of social media, our society has shifted to a more competitive and materialistic environment. It becomes easier for us to see all the possibilities that the world has to offer, it becomes easier to get lost in the idea of “what ifs,” and it gets easier for us to feel less abundant in our own lives. However, all of us have the power within to manifest a deeper energy and to center our focus on what we do have.

For example, I feel fortunate for my travels to Europe that I wrote about in my last post; I know that not everyone has the opportunity to travel and may never see the places I was so blessed to have seen. But situations are all relative, and someone who may see my travel photos and feel bitter towards me, should keep in mind that if they are viewing my photos, they must have some sort of technological device, and not everyone in this world has access to the daily luxuries that most of us take for granted. Yes there might always be someone who appears to be “luckier,” but there will also always be someone who is worse off than we assume we are. Everyone’s struggles are relative to their life situation and the things that they value.

This is why we can all find contentment in our lives, because we all have the strength and ability to shift our mindset and realize that we have things that deserve more appreciation than we often grant them. If we start by focusing on small things and reminding ourselves to acknowledge (either mentally or vocally), what we cherish, we will find that slowly our brain will begin to pick out the positives without us even consciously doing so. Eventually we can all get to a point where we are left with feelings of mostly happiness, since all the tiny things that we appreciate add up to an overwhelming feeling of gratification. Also, as we find ourselves enamored with all the good in the world, we positively charge our own personal energy that exudes onto others. This leads to a cycle of inspiration as those around us start to become more positive, even if it is just a smile in response to being surrounded by your optimistic energy.

It takes more energy to dwell on what we wish we had, than it does to feel thankful for what we do have. Plus, all that time and energy we spend focusing on negativity goes to waste, as we then have lost precious opportunities to have turned those moments of disappointment into moments of good memories. It is important to not get distracted in the multiple potential outcomes of a situation, but to actually live in the moment to the fullest. Some of the biggest regrets can be avoided by simply returning yourself to center and finding what there is to enjoy in the present.

If you seek for what you do not have, one day you might look back and realize that in that same moment that you were longing for more, you were ignoring so much you could have appreciated in that moment. Do not wait until you have lost those things and it is too late to go back. So as you move forward from this moment, remember to take any opportunities to voice your appreciation, find at least one aspect of each day to be thankful for, unplug from the diversions of technology, and detach yourself from preoccupied thoughts. With each passing day you shall find that there is more and more in this universe to be grateful for.