Loneliness in a Hyper-Connected Society

Back in March of 2019, I jotted down in my notes: “What are the pros and cons of being so connected through technology in this day and age?” Now, over a year later, I find this question almost even more relevant and worth considering. It is incredibly fascinating that through today’s technology we can contact anyone in the world at any given minute and conduct work or school from the comfort of our own homes, among many other things. While I recognize the extreme benefits, there are moments when I feel that our machines and devices are tipping the scales of connectivity, entering into a realm where we are actually more isolated as individuals.

The ability to gather international news and access an incomprehensible amount of resources from the palms of our hands, are just two of the ways that technology has forever shaped society. And it is definitely a balance, because without these means to connect, we’d lack even more empathy in the world, as it would be incredibly hard to maintain awareness for others outside of our social bubbles. Yet, there is a special energy that requires us to get breaths of fresh air and open ourselves up to factors of life that span beyond standard screen sizes. I definitely took for granted the ease of being able to get out and meander in spaces, an activity that exposes us to strangers and allows for the magic and beauty of unexpected conversations. These days, it’s easy to virtually transport oneself across the globe or even complete daily errands like grocery shopping, without even leaving the couch.

Bondi Beach, Australia // July 2019

With such hyper-connectivity, it is easy to slip into the territory of loneliness and isolation – sometimes without even realizing that it is happening. In my own experience, even if I am able to manage keeping up friendships and enhancing my worldly knowledge from behind the screen, I tend to lose my internal sense of being grounded. Physically enjoying nature, being in people’s presence, and getting to separate work life from my personal space, are all things that encourage my overall wellbeing. After long extents of relying on digital means to satisfy my human need to connect and engage, I find that I then tend to log off with an extreme sense of personal discontent. Moments that I get to spend with the people I love and the small adventures like walking to get takeout are the mini wins that I have learned are key to my own personal sanity.

In an effort to stay hopeful and honor ourselves through the actions that make us happiest, it is so important that we make space for the people and activities that keep us tuned into our best selves. While we oddly are feeling the restrictions of being physically bound within our homes, the lines delineating our personal, professional, and social lives have become completely blurred. It is okay to not have everything figured out, or to feel completely lost in a society that is outlining exactly where we should or shouldn’t be this year. 

Blue Mountains, Australia // July 2019

I have a lot to thank technology for and without the innovations of today’s world, I would be feeling an incredible void. The opportunities I have had, the people I cherish most, even this blog, are all aspects of my life that have benefitted from the ability to transcend time and distance through devices. However, the seed of our souls were not planted to thrive with machinery alone. It takes a healthy dose of other elements to keep us balanced as humans. This equilibrium can be achieved when we are intentional with our utilization of modern technology. Predetermining our goals when we unlock our phones or log on to our computers can be incredibly beneficial; whether we are heading into a work Zoom, hoping to connect with someone, or dedicating recreational perusing of social media, making mindful decisions can keep us in charge of our time and happiness.

Stay hopeful everyone and continue finding safe ways to spark joy! xoxo 

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

It is hard for me to face the fact that I haven’t been able to fully create a written piece for this blog in 4 months, and even more eerie to me that the last post I published was one that urged for us to consider what matters most to us without a crisis forcing such reevaluations. 

Now, in the midst of all of this COVID-19 chaos, we have all been infected one way or another – we have had to change the way we interact with each other and the world around us, adapt to the the ins and outs of our new normals, and shift the mental focus we place on various things. While my hope is that among the small silver linings that this situation poses – like having more time to spend with family and pursue personal goals that work schedules previously got in the way of – that at the end of this predicament we find ourselves taking less for granted, expressing more gratitude, and feeling more connected as humans. This moment in history is one of the many tremors that our world will face, but with each one comes the shifting of tectonic plates that is necessary for society’s reconfiguration towards more empathy and equality.

Royal National Park, Australia // July 2019

Recently, as my spirit was starting to lift after some rough past months in my personal life, I envisioned writing a post in May with this same title: “The Light At the End of the Tunnel.” It was to come alongside my college graduation, serving as inspiration for fellow students and those who have ever felt lonely, lost, or unsure if they would live to see their goals achieved. As I have said before, this platform was sparked by my hope that if I opened up and shared my own feelings, at least one person would read my words, realize they weren’t alone, and find the strength to continue to place one foot in front of the other. I figured that being able to write “from the other side,” as someone who successfully reached a big milestone in life, would be encouraging for people. Unfortunately, as a consequence of COVID-19, that moment of physically receiving my diploma on an official graduation day is no longer a reality. What I have come to realize though, is that the true success isn’t in finally making it to the end goal, but rather accepting the challenge of each waking day and continuing to push yourself in the right direction as opposed to giving up.

For a lot of people who know me in my private life, it may come as a surprise to know that my outwardly smiling and humorous persona doesn’t indicate the internal struggles that I have been learning to accept and manage. Having an essentially perfect and very fortunate life makes the emotional challenges even harder, as I feel like I don’t have the right to feel the deep waves of sadness that often overcome me. It is hard for me to reach out and express that I need help, let alone disclose to people that depression, anxiety, and eating disorders haunt my everyday experiences. I never wanted to be vulnerable and explicitly discuss these things for fear that I would pitied (something that my highly independent, stubborn self does not enjoy), so it only felt appropriate to bring them up in the context that I survived and succeeded on my own. However, I came to the conclusion that this was antithetical to my desire to help people identify with human conditions and understand that it is normal to feel grateful and happy for so much in life, as well as simultaneously endure times that feel unbearable. 

Manly, Sydney, Australia // June 2019

I once read something that helped me come to terms with my own feelings, and perhaps you too will find solace in it: for those who are empathetic and finely tuned into the world around them, their scope on life allows them to see the oneness that connects us all, yet it does not extend in only one direction, forcing them to also experience the weight and sadness of the world at a stronger level. 

While it is important to stay motivated and recognize that “the light at the end of the tunnel” proposes many positives, I think it is even more critical to acknowledge the successes of continuing to journey through doubt and darkness. It is also vital to not discount that there are many times when sunlight can leak through crevices. These are the instances in which the dichotomy of happiness and depression exist; these are the times when you can feel both whole and split in two. And sometimes, after years of feeling like a societal anomaly, one of the light beams that you encounter may be someone who finally lends a listening ear, accepts you for who you are, or offers to walk with you through the darkness and sit with you in the warmth of the light. 

With all the uncertainty that we are collectively facing, I hope that we can at least gain a better understanding of each other and ourselves. Let us take this time to heal, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. These are times that call for the upmost acts of kindness, reassurance, and empathy. There are already signs of positive outcomes such as lower environmental emissions, so perhaps we can view this situation as an extreme way of hitting “reset” in a multitude of aspects. We should always be conscious of the internal feelings and struggles that one may be battling, but we should be even more hyperaware and considerate in a period like this. Sending love, light, and health to all! xoxo

Critiquing What We Appreciate Without a Crisis

The question “What would you do if you only had 24 hours to live?” often elicits a response that does not reflect the person’s usual day-to-day life. This begs the bigger question of why the person isn’t naturally leading a life more reflective of their deepest values and desires. It has taken mass shootings to get people to advocate for change and enact laws to protect citizens. It has taken natural disasters for people to realize that we need to be more conscious of our environmental impact and implement policies that ensure that communities have access to resources. And, sometimes, once it is too late, we find that we have so many things we wish we could tell someone. Why does it take the verge of breaking points, tragedies, and crises to spark within us the values and considerations that we should be guiding our lives with consistently?

Watson’s Bay, Sydney, Australia // July 2019

Part of the issue, I believe, has to do with the lack of empathy in our society, a topic I have touched on throughout this blog. With the inability to deliberate on other people’s experiences, our society has lost the foresight of recognizing how individual actions affect the feelings and circumstances of others. Without empathy, we cannot fully appreciate life and the deep network of humanity that allows it to run in the way that many of us take for granted. For example, the next time you go to a coffee shop and treat yourself to your favorite drink, reflect on the links that have made that experience possible for you: the person behind the counter helping to serve you, the coffee farmers who worked to cultivate the very beans you will now be sipping on, and the laborers in between who shipped the products from their country of origin to where you are now enjoying them. Many of us go through our lives so quickly, isolated in our personal hectic schedules, yet there is so much indirect dependency we have on each other. So, why wait until an extreme situation to pause and see that we need to reevaluate our appreciations? Every day provides itself with an opportunity for us to inspire change and lead lives that align with our ideal versions of life. 

I am in full support of the marketing and social campaigns that preach giving thanks and being especially grateful as the Thanksgiving holiday nears, but I encourage us all to really ponder on the way we are appreciating people and things in our life - this includes how we express these emotions of gratitude! Are we engaging in empathy and making decisions that have a positive impact on people in other nations or for future generations? While certain stresses and realities can get in the way at times, it is important to take time to think about ways that we are showing the people in our lives that we care and taking full advantage of the beautiful present moments we have. In some instances, we can spare dire moments through wielding tools of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and empathy in our daily routines (even if it is in a small capacity!). 

Watson’s Bay, Sydney, Australia // July 2019

As we get closer to the end of 2019 and a symbolic period of resetting, let us tap into our cores and ensure that we are on a path that allows us to live a life that speaks to our inner truth and acknowledges the togetherness that our world depends on. I hope that everyone soaks up the upcoming holiday season in whatever way provides a sense of happiness and peace. As always, thank you to everyone who supports this blog and to those who encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

Smile to strangers, spread kindness, and love boundlessly – here’s to an empathy revolution! xoxo

The Collapsing of Time

Usually, this blog is a platform for me to try to provide tools that can help us all work towards a better future. Sometimes this entails reflecting on the past, and I have come to notice that I often paint this picture of “moving from the past,” which may have negative connotations. Through my recent travel and life experiences, I have been extremely appreciative of the past in a new light - I think it is healthy to recognize that this thread that I discuss as connecting us all as humans, is also one that spans time and generations.

Daintree Rainforest, Cairns, Australia // June 2019

One of the reasons that I use writing as my mode to reach others is because of the fact the written word has been used for ages, connecting us to the experiences and lives of those before us, as it will continue to do for centuries to come. There is a way in which seeing someone’s handwriting or digesting typed text that helps to provide an emotional feeling that ironically can almost not be put into words. I remember looking at my great-grandmother’s handwritten recipes and notes, which brought about a lot of feelings. In that moment, I not only cherished the beauty of how written works can withstand time and catapult the past into the present and the future, but I also felt as if I was in the presence of a distant piece of myself, recognizing that my existence could be traced back to the creator of this words in front of me. 

Even more recently, I had a similar sensation when I went to the Daintree Rainforest in Cairns, Australia. My tour guide pointed out that the Daintree is the oldest rainforest, estimated to be 180 million years old, which meant that as I stood in the thicket of the lush greenery, I was in the same spot that dinosaurs used to roam. There was one tree in particular that shot far into the sky, towering over the rest. It was in that instant that I experienced the complete collapse of time. It was as if a film reel was playing in my mind at an incredible fast forwarding speed, taking me from the scene of a brachiosaurus munching on this tree’s leaves, through my current moment, and into the future of the next generation being mesmerized as they stand before this great treasure. I felt as though I had illuminated a mutual fragment of life that I now shared with beings far beyond my grasp of understanding. This thread that weaves together time helps us to also knit together all of existence. As much as I can advocate for us all to recognize this aspect of life, there is something incredible about actually feeling the sensation that you are a small, but vital, part in the greater scheme of the universe. And with that being said, the universe that we are a part of goes beyond the definitive periods of our personal lifetimes. 

Daintree Rainforest, Cairns, Australia // June 2019

So essentially, this time I encourage us all to reflect on the past to understand where we are now, but in a manner that focuses on a level deeper than ourselves. Look beyond just your personal history – what did your ancestors go through so that you could be in this exact moment? What parts of your identity do you attribute to distant lands or ancestral experiences? Through pondering these questions, we might gain a better understanding of our context, as well as a clearer and broader conception for how we came to personify our identities. This in turn allows us to have a stronger motivation to appreciate the people we currently have in our lives, acknowledging the people who came before us, in addition to relishing in the current natural landscapes and recognizing that we play a crucial role in shaping the lives of generations to come. Choosing to be your best self and striving for this more positive society is a decision that impacts more than just the now; it builds upon the efforts of humanity and pledges to pay it forward to those who will follow in our footsteps. 

Here’s to tracing the thread of our individual stitches and sewing a foundation that others can look back on with pride! xoxo

To my Mima (10/20/30 - 8/9/19) –My tenacity sprouts from the Cuban heritage that was so strongly rooted in you, and one day I hope to visit the land that you left behind so that your children and grandchildren would have better opportunities. I hope I will leave this planet in a state that is void of the hardships that people saw in your lifetime, and in doing so, I will never forget that I am in a position to have my voice heard and my words read thanks to my lineage who braved more than I could imagine. I will always treasure the keepsake of your handwriting that says: “Te amo siempre.” 

Learning How Distance Can Bring You Closer to Center

There’s the saying that “you don’t know what you have until its gone,” but sometimes it just takes you being the one that’s gone for a bit to help provide some clarity and perspective. When I decided to go abroad to work and study for two months, I expected to learn a lot, but I had no idea how quickly I would begin to discover more about myself. It has only been about two weeks in my new (temporary) home of Sydney, yet I already get the sense that I may have signed up for a summer intensive course with me at the focus. 

Bronte Beach, NSW, Australia // June 2019

While I have come to realize a lot of personal things about myself, I have also come to generally find that there is something really refreshing in removing yourself from the routine that you know – it gives you freedom from the part of society that pushes for you to keep moving closer and closer to success. In fact, it feels a tad rebellious to seemingly “press pause” on the normality of what you have always known and to instead “press play” to a life completely unfamiliar. And, doing so does not impede on your track to success that it feels like you are escaping from, but rather it helps you better understand how to navigate that path once you return to reality.

For example, in being across the globe, living nearly a full day ahead of all my friends and family, I have experienced a deep appreciation for the people that I do have in my life. I often find it hard to display any signs of weakness, but I honestly have been feeling bouts of homesickness, since I miss my incredible sources of love and support back home. (Otherwise, Australia is really amazing and I would probably stay forever :) ) Being on my own has also naturally surfaced a lot of inner motivation and strength, which have always seemed a little more difficult to actualize back home. When you experience these types of feelings at least once, you begin to realize that you have it in you to catalyze them at any point in your life.

Bondi Beach, NSW, Australia // June 2019

While I might be experiencing a more extreme situation of solo self-discovery, I think there is something to be said about giving yourself space. When you are in the midst of life, attempting to make decisions, it can feel overwhelming. It is like deciding what lane you need to be in on the freeway – life isn’t going to just stop and wait while you make up your mind, so instead you feel like you have to make decisions quickly and efficiently as other cars whiz by. Allowing yourself to step back from scenarios, gives you the ability to truly analyze situations and make whole-hearted choices, knowing without a doubt they are the right ones to make. It takes getting out of your comfort zone to realize what your true comfort zone even is – the things and people that bring out the best in you, along with those that don’t make you feel the best.

The next time you feel like you need some clarity in a situation or maybe just want to challenge yourself to deeply seek what your heart desires, try adding a little distance. Sometimes it is hard to, especially since it seems like the norm is to keep moving towards things rather than away from them. But, I think it is time to release the misconception that distance is a negative aspect and that it makes it harder to achieve things. Because for me, pulling myself out of my everyday life and into a whole new society, has only made me more excited to go home and keep enjoying what I have come to realize makes me a happier and better version of myself. Taking time to discover your truth is invaluable in getting closer to your ideal future. Happy soul-searching everyone! :)