Critiquing What We Appreciate Without a Crisis

November 14, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

The question “What would you do if you only had 24 hours to live?” often elicits a response that does not reflect the person’s usual day-to-day life. This begs the bigger question of why the person isn’t naturally leading a life more reflective of their deepest values and desires. It has taken mass shootings to get people to advocate for change and enact laws to protect citizens. It has taken natural disasters for people to realize that we need to be more conscious of our environmental impact and implement policies that ensure that communities have access to resources. And, sometimes, once it is too late, we find that we have so many things we wish we could tell someone. Why does it take the verge of breaking points, tragedies, and crises to spark within us the values and considerations that we should be guiding our lives with consistently?

Watson’s Bay, Sydney, Australia // July 2019

Part of the issue, I believe, has to do with the lack of empathy in our society, a topic I have touched on throughout this blog. With the inability to deliberate on other people’s experiences, our society has lost the foresight of recognizing how individual actions affect the feelings and circumstances of others. Without empathy, we cannot fully appreciate life and the deep network of humanity that allows it to run in the way that many of us take for granted. For example, the next time you go to a coffee shop and treat yourself to your favorite drink, reflect on the links that have made that experience possible for you: the person behind the counter helping to serve you, the coffee farmers who worked to cultivate the very beans you will now be sipping on, and the laborers in between who shipped the products from their country of origin to where you are now enjoying them. Many of us go through our lives so quickly, isolated in our personal hectic schedules, yet there is so much indirect dependency we have on each other. So, why wait until an extreme situation to pause and see that we need to reevaluate our appreciations? Every day provides itself with an opportunity for us to inspire change and lead lives that align with our ideal versions of life.

I am in full support of the marketing and social campaigns that preach giving thanks and being especially grateful as the Thanksgiving holiday nears, but I encourage us all to really ponder on the way we are appreciating people and things in our life - this includes how we express these emotions of gratitude! Are we engaging in empathy and making decisions that have a positive impact on people in other nations or for future generations? While certain stresses and realities can get in the way at times, it is important to take time to think about ways that we are showing the people in our lives that we care and taking full advantage of the beautiful present moments we have. In some instances, we can spare dire moments through wielding tools of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and empathy in our daily routines (even if it is in a small capacity!).

As we get closer to the end of 2019 and a symbolic period of resetting, let us tap into our cores and ensure that we are on a path that allows us to live a life that speaks to our inner truth and acknowledges the togetherness that our world depends on. I hope that everyone soaks up the upcoming holiday season in whatever way provides a sense of happiness and peace. As always, thank you to everyone who supports this blog and to those who encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Smile to strangers, spread kindness, and love boundlessly – here’s to an empathy revolution! xoxo

How to Love in Every Situation

February 06, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Lifestyle

Happy February! In light of Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to do another special feature on “love.” Last year I wrote about a few things I had learned on the topic, but this year I want to write about something that I am still working on fully integrating into my own life - the idea that no matter how upsetting a situation is, you approach it with love. When we feel like we are dealing with someone on a different vibration than we are, or when we feel hurt by another person’s thoughts or actions, it is easy to turn to being unhappy, disappointed, and maybe even angry. However, these feelings are not productive in terms of mending and healing, which is why we must ask ourselves an important question: “How can I love in this situation?”

The world can be, and currently is, a very messy place, and in an effort to move forward in a more holistically positive direction, we need to begin to do as much as we can to guide our lives with love and empathy. Stepping back from situations and evaluating how you fit into whatever might be unfolding, is crucial in not only helping to protect your own heart and soul energy, but also in understanding how to handle such circumstances. Let’s say you are having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye with a friend, coworker, roommate, or family member. It’s easy to get riled up, to begin to plaster up the walls of your heart and mind, and to keep those thick layers of defense on for all future interactions. But what if, before you began to apply these shielding mechanisms, you actually expanded these channels? What if you took a look at the situation and realized, “Okay, this is how _____ feels, because of xyz…,” and you allowed yourself to simply bring some love and empathy into the situation? Now, not only have you saved yourself the burden of wasting energy on fortifying your shields, but you have also taken a third person perspective on the scene at hand, giving you the ability to see how the other person is approaching the situation and how you thus should respond.

This is not an easy task. And by no means does this mean that you have to agree with the person or feel unconditional love. All this practice is serving to do is to get us to in some capacity leak love into our every action, and the more love we exude, the more we will attract. For instance, despite having an emotional morning and having a lot weighing on my heart the other day, I decided to take a moment to myself in the car. I realized that my next agenda item – my weekly grocery shopping at Whole Foods – had no relation to the outside upsets I was dealing with, so I sat in my car and said to myself, “Alright universe, I am going to do my best to shed my fears, anger, and doubts, and just trust, manifest, and magnetize.” As soon as I stepped out of my car and went to grab a cart (with a very mustered, but nonetheless bold, smile on my face) I could feel love radiating. The carts seemed to be stuck together, and I was mid-struggle when a man came over and helped me out and reassured me that it wasn’t just me having difficulties. Once inside the store, I felt like everyone I passed was smiling in my direction, so I kept beaming back, to the point that eventually, my phony smile was really genuine. The feeling was surreal – all I had to do was decide to enter into the setting with love, and low and behold, there was love to be acknowledged and received. This just goes to show that the question of “How can I love in this situation?” is not just applicable in dealing with other individuals, but sometimes we need it for ourselves or for approaching general, public scenes as well.

At the end of the day, we just need to do our best at considering what we are carrying with us and how we can work on overcoming difficulties, as opposed to shutting ourselves off from solutions. Analyzing how we can be better individuals by better understanding those around us is essential to a more unified society that operates more effortlessly. Next time you find yourself welling up with frustration or scorn, try to evaluate how you and the other person may be living on different frequencies and how, even if it isn’t a familial or romantic love, you do have flickers of love to disperse to all souls. Allow love to flow through you, so that you may magnetize more into your life and also guard yourself from the repercussions that come from stopping up your love channels with frustration, upset, and other negativities. Feel free to reach out if you have suggestions, want to discuss something, or just need a listening ear! Have an amazing month of love!

Practicing Patience

June 15, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle, Inspiration

In today’s world it is easy to find ourselves constantly anxiety-ridden thanks to the lack of patience that our instantly gratifying technologies have trained us to have. When we feel ourselves in impatient states, we are acting as our mind and body’s worst enemy – subjecting our heart rate to a state of uneasiness and releasing stress hormones that leave unnecessary negative affects on other body systems. So what’s the remedy? Learning to take a deep breath and own up to the fact that we cannot speed up time or predict the future. We must take a look at what we have in the here and now, toss wild “what ifs” out of our minds, and recognize that at the end of the day, getting irritated over situations that deal with the difference of a few seconds or minutes aren’t worth our energy.

The first step in practicing more patience is to put ourselves in check and realize that we do not have the power to control circumstantial things like time ticking by or how other people will play their roles in the given situation. Like I’ve mentioned before, perspective plays a vital role in how we train our mind and body to react, thus we must focus our thoughts on what each moment is providing us with rather than what it is costing us. Eventually, we might find that we naturally are able to keep stress levels low since we have an overall calmness that we have become acclimated to. One way to begin this exercise is to take a deep breath whenever we feel ourselves itching to fast-forward time, followed by reminding ourselves that the current moment offers a great opportunity to reflect on what we do have and how we have positively evolved throughout past moments to get to this present moment. Next time you are at a red light feeling restless and burning for the minuscule amount of time that you are stuck in that spot to be even shorter, try to ease your mind and realize that in the scheme of life, working yourself up over minor seconds is not worth the gratitude that the stress will strip you of. Be grateful for all of life’s little moments, even if it is just a couple of seconds.

On a more long term scale, when we find ourselves trying to unravel the mysteries of future circumstances, it is important to take a step back and appreciate the potential of the immediate instants that we are only wasting if we set our sights completely on occurrences that we do not have total control over. In surrendering ourselves to a higher power and acknowledging that “everything that is meant to be, will be,” we free up our worries and allow our energy to filter towards maximizing the present moment. Looking back on our pasts, many occurrences were probably somewhat dependent on factors outside of ourselves; thus, if we allow ourselves to completely melt into what we know and have for sure, we lift an incredible weight and pressure off of our hearts and souls. In the long run, this will keep us healthy, youthful, radiant, and help us to extend our futures, so as to be able to live longer, happier lives.

Harness the fresh, transformative energy of this recent Gemini new moon to learn something new about yourself and check into your thought patterns! Every day is an opportunity to make a positive change and be happy! Here’s to a sensational weekend everyone!

Ways to De-Stress and Slow Down

December 08, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle, Inspiration

For me this week has been full of studying, (which I am sure anyone else who is a student can relate to, as finals are soon approaching!) and my abilities to manage stress have definitely been under the test! In an effort to help minimize stress and still enjoy this “crunch time,” I’ve compiled a list of my top three favorite ways to take a breather and regain perspective! (They are even great when you aren’t stressed!)

Three years ago, I was fortunate enough to travel to Costa Rica, and one of the biggest things I took away from that trip was the beauty of the Costa Rican people’s mastery of not stressing. Everything there seemed to work at a slower pace – a pace that allowed for a greater appreciation of the life and scenery surrounding them. They seemed to go through their daily lives with what I perceived to almost be an immense trust in superior guidance, which alleviated stress since they were able to accept that most things in life are out of their control. I hope that these following acts can help to ground you at any moment in your life and relieve some of the stress that can often bog us down.

Manuel Antonio National Park, Costa Rica // January 2015

1. Watch the Sunset!! – This is my absolute favorite way to detach myself from the overwhelming feelings of life and be reminded of the unfathomable beauty on this planet. Within the past few months, I had a revelation of how rarely people take the time to appreciate the sunset. Most of us simply just take it for granted, even though every day we have the opportunity to immerse ourselves into a free opportunity to see one of the most awing processes. Its something literally anyone, anywhere (although not at the same time!) can relate to, and every evening the sunset is different, so this practice never gets old!! It’s a great occasion to mull over internal thoughts, ponder life questions, or spend time with someone you love and enjoy the energy of life together!

2. Read Poetry!! – Poems are a great way to reinvigorate your sense of belonging on this Earth. My two favorite poetry books are “The Essential Rumi” and Hafiz’s collection, “The Gift.” Every time I read a work out of either of these two books, I remember that these are the words of people long before my time, yet they still resonate with me. And because of that, I realize I am not alone in my feelings and life explorations. Give yourself a ten-minute mental break to find a quote or poem, and then really absorb what it is saying. You might be surprised to find how refreshing it can be to hear your feelings put into words by someone else, reminding you of your individual importance and also your validity in this universe as a whole.

3. Grab a Hot Drink (with or without friends) – It might sound silly, something as simple as “grabbing a hot drink” as a way to help solve the stressors of life, but it can actually do the trick! Regardless if I am alone or with someone, the act of taking time to sip on something can be a great reminder of slowing down your pace and taking a step back from frantic energy. Whenever I am enjoying a tea or coffee, I push myself to not check my phone and completely soak in the present moment, savoring the flavors of the drink and taking my time to thoroughly enjoy it. I think often times we feel we can’t afford even the smallest of breaks, but I tend to find that the time we consider we would be wasting on things, even though they have the potential to actually benefit us, ends up getting wasted anyways as we aimlessly spend time on our phones. I think it is healthy to schedule blocks of time where you know you are going to dedicate yourself to something meaningful, because after, you feel so much more revitalized and can actually focus better when you return to your work.

These three things are small, but can have a big positive effect! And even if these don’t strike you as things you are interested in, there are plenty of other great de-stressors out there! The important thing is that you compile your own list of things that you can turn to when you need a little relief in your life. Remember to stay positive, and as my mom always reminds me for those things that are extra anxiety inducing, “This too shall pass.”

The Art of Releasing Contempt + Opening the Heart

August 20, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

In the midst of the modern world, we find ourselves working towards goals in educations, career fields, athletic scenarios, and other similar situations that can often cultivate a sense of competition. I think that this element of rivalry between our peers and those around us poses as a large hurdle we must overcome if we wish to reach a state closer to contentment and happiness. We are all beautiful, talented, and stellar human beings in our own way, so we need to learn to ease up on comparing ourselves to our counterparts and learn how to genuinely want them to succeed in life as well.

Juneau, Alaska // June 2016 — Juneau, Alaska // June 2016

Personally, I have dealt with the feelings of insecurities and inferiority in my own life, and I know it is easy to at first approach the person who is causing such feelings with an air of scorn. However, I learned a powerful lesson after reading The Art of Happiness, by Howard C. Cutler, which reflects on quotes and ideas from the Dalai Lama. In a particular portion of the book, Cutler writes of his experience on an airplane where he immediately took to disliking his seatmate without any real reason. At first Cutler allows himself to simply just go on feeling some sort of contempt for this complete stranger, but then he realizes he needs to look inward and release himself from these spiteful feelings. He forces himself to look at his seatmate and find the similarities between the two of them, eventually breaking everything down to the conclusion that they were both human beings on this planet and that everyone has their luck and challenges in life. After coming to this awareness, Cutler detached himself from negative energies and was left feeling more at peace.

Now as I move through life, if I ever feel an inkling of a grudge towards another person seep in, I remind myself to take a step back and really break down what I actually know about the person and why I feel like I have the grounds to feel the way I do. Almost every single time I end up feeling extremely liberated as I once again become cognizant of the fact that neither one of us has to be “better than the other.” We all have our own individual journeys, there is plenty of love in this universe for us all to equally receive, and another person’s beauty and light does not take away from our own.

I think that in our contemporary society it has become so normative and casual to say things like “I hate…” in reference to someone or something. In all actuality though, do we really hate what we say we do? Essentially, does not one fiber in our beings feel less than hate for this person or object? For example, even if someone said that they hated pizza, they are taking a strong side. That is saying that the person could not even find appreciation for the smaller elements like the basil, cheese, crust, toppings, or sauce that went into creating the pizza as a whole. I feel that in moving towards a more positive universe, we need to start looking at the sincerity of the things we are saying, especially when it comes to hate statements. People can definitely have opinions and dislike things or disagree, but it is important to also recognize that you can feel that way while still, after breaking something down, acknowledging feelings of admiration or empathy.

Allowing for Imperfection

August 14, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Lifestyle

Although I continue to write about the importance of staying positive, I know that at times it can be hard to see the light in every situation that we face. Sometimes as humans we cannot help ourselves from feeling sad, distraught, discouraged, or hopeless. This post will aim at helping to overcome the tougher times in life and acknowledge our natural feelings.

We cannot always predict what life has in store for us; life is a journey of ups and downs. Even the most positive of people can experience the other end of the spectrum of emotions. When life throws something at you that evokes within you some sort of sadness, grief, confusion, or anger, it is important to not get frustrated with yourself. In my own life, if I find myself extremely distressed by something, I can sometimes fall into a pit of upset. However, it is important to keep in mind that we are inclined to react to different situations in certain ways, so in order to ease our experiences through challenging emotions, we must remind ourselves that such experiences are temporary and that we do have the strength to persevere. During life’s less happy times, the key is to acknowledge what we may be feeling, and with that, acknowledge that there will be more good times ahead just like there were before we fell into a more melancholy time. This goes along with trusting that we have divine guidance for our life path and that sometimes we must go through some tough times in order for life to fall into better place.

I think it is important to also recognize that although we might not always understand the situations we go through or feel like we have the power to persist, these are feelings that come naturally to most of us and we are not abnormal in any way. Even when it feels tough to stay positive and push through, just allowing ourselves to live out our validated feelings and knowing in the back of our minds that we have the potential to return to a life of optimism, is an act of staying hopeful. I know that often times it feels as though once one bad thing happens in life, things spiral into a pattern of negativity, but we must try our best to release the little annoyances and find the little things to be happy about.

The next time you are faced with a trying situation, don’t get frustrated with yourself or with life. Or better yet, know that your frustration is valid, but that it is not the only thing you can feel. Within us all is divinity that is there to guide us if we just listen and trust. I cannot stress enough how supported we all are, even when we are physically alone. Our souls all harness the energy and power of the universe that is available for us to tap into at any time. Life will throw what seem to be bumps and unfairness along the way, but we must look at life with multi-perspectives and realize that both the good and the bad times in life are temporary.

I would like to end this post with a mantra that someone very dear to me enlightened me with. It helped me heal in a time of unexplainable darkness that I truly did not ever think I would get out of, and regardless if you have ever resonated with the feelings of a deep depression, these words are an important reminder for all points in life.

“You are worthy because you exist, you exist because you are worthy.”

European Enlightenment

July 18, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Travel, Lifestyle

Last month I was fortunate enough to get to travel to Switzerland and Italy. The trip was definitely needed and it not only added another stamp to my passport (much to my joy), but it also left me with a better impression of myself, the world, and how I as an individual can benefit from other cultures abroad.

I admit that in the past I used to concern myself too much with how I looked, how I dressed, and how people perceived my appearance. I would buy clothes with a picture-perfect vision of me wearing specific outfits for specific destinations or activities. However, spending 18 days in Europe with multiple hotels and various transportations that would become a hassle with a large suitcase, I was forced to pack with function rather than fashion as my focus. Leading up to the trip I was pretty nervous, was I really going to be able to live out of a small luggage with limited supplies?

After zipping up what would be my life for the next nearly 3 weeks and flying 6,000 miles across the world, I landed in my first stop, Switzerland. As soon as I stepped foot off the plane, a rush of relaxation, happiness, and peace overwhelmed me. The crisp Swiss air and rolling green countryside with the misty Alps in the background instilled a sense of surrealism from the start. As my trip progressed and I moved on to my next destination, Italy, I continued to loosen up and it finally hit me that the art of minimalism truly is beautiful. I was not only surviving, but thriving. Not once did I stress out about what I was going to wear, how I looked, or any imperfections on my skin. I was just living and embracing my journey and the world around me. Letting go and becoming minimalistic is not easy, but once you find yourself in the midst of simplicity, you realize it is much easier and relieves so much anxiety. Now that I am back in the States, I hope that I can continue to maintain my newfound perspective on life and keep myself in check when it comes to materialism. Sometimes there is beauty in few options.

Another European concept that really stuck with me is something that the Italian’s call “Slow Food,” a movement started by Carlo Petrini. The idea is to eat locally, traditionally, and seasonally, along with have a relationship with food in the sense that you know the story of where it was grown or who played a role in the production. I have always believed that it is important to eat fresh and as close to home as possible, so I was impressed that the entire country of Italy has taken to the idea and come together to really enforce such ideas. Something else that resonated with me, is that Italians have long dinners where they enjoy the company of those around them, detaching themselves from technology, and coming together over multiple courses of food. During my stay, I had the opportunity to go to a family’s home in Rome, where they cooked us a homemade meal and we talked until late hours of the night. It was one of the highlights of my trip, and with minimalism, I hope to also incorporate into my life more locally sourced, homemade meals that are shared with family and friends.

Overall, my trip to Europe really opened my eyes to the benefits of living in the present, giving yourself up to the tides of life, and fully embracing whatever is currently at hand. I learned how Italians get so many paid holidays; they even get weeks off in the summer, which are meant to be spent with family and traveling. The value they place on their health and happiness through the food that they eat, time dedicated to family and mental rejuvenation, along with other lifestyle aspects, really inspired me to make changes in my own life despite living under different conditions. My intentions are to gratefully enjoy my time with those I love as much as possible, place my mental health high on my list of priorities, fuel my body with sustainable products, and wean myself away from materialistic distractions. I think its time we all take a few Italian lessons and “vivi la vita.”

Be Conscious of What You Eat

July 28, 2015 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

About a month ago, I broke my vegetarianism of over ten years. Now for some that decision may be easy, but I had gone more than half my life without meat and still to this day have yet to have a burger or steak. I was the person that would freak out if you offered me anything that had touched meat or been served with the same utensil as a carnivore’s delight. However, I finally decided that my goals for myself simply could not be achieved unless I introduced animal protein into my diet. Being the only vegetarian in my family and amongst my friends, I was well supported in my decision.

Now just because I have bridged the gap between being a vegetarian and being an omnivore, does not mean I do not support vegetarian diets. I still whole-heartedly believe that vegetarians reap health benefits that I am now voiding myself from. Yet, my overall belief that covers all bases is the idea that whatever we put into our bodies must be healthy and happy itself so that we as consumers can be healthy and happy.

I try to eat as organically as possible (although not all foods need be organically grown). I eat pasture-raised, grass fed eggs; and I only eat organic, grass-fed, and humanely raised poultry. I also like to eat as close to nature as possible, meaning that the less processed something is, the better I feel it is for you. Buying raw ingredients in bulk and replicating my own dishes from scratch is something I find quite fulfilling.

I think that every living thing takes on properties based on how it is treated or raised. Fueling our bodies with positive and happy ingredients yields a happier and healthier individual. And it is okay to every now and then indulge in something that is a little high in fat or has a dab of artificial substances, but the cleaner your diet is on a daily basis, the more your body will thank you. It is all about being conscious of everything you put into your body. Know the ingredients and nutritional content, cut back on the ingredients you cannot pronounce, and acknowledge what you eat, even if it is unhealthy. The more conscious you become, the more your body will savor the food you feed it.

Don’t forget to thank the food you put in your body!