grateful soul

Growing up, my family’s go-to vacation spot was Hawaii, and since my very first trip when I was just over a year old, I have always felt a sense of deep belonging to the island state. My name even has Hawaiian roots, meaning “awakening.” No matter how many times I have been fortunate to visit, Maui in particular, seems to ceaselessly call to me. There have been times that I have honestly cried because I longed to smell the fresh, fragrant air and feel the warm ocean mist again. As I prepared for this past trip to Maui, I eagerly anticipated the sensation of peace, oneness, and clarity that I usually experienced while there. Much to my dismay, when I finally arrived I felt frustrated and lost; it felt as though something I loved so much was rejecting me in a sense. The days seemed a little gloomier and rainier than I remembered, and the energy a little less uplifting.

I began to get upset with myself for feeling as though I was not harnessing as much of the vacation as I could have. As my remaining days on the island began to dwindle, the anxiety and unsettledness intensified, making it even harder for me to reach the level of zen I had been hoping to reach in the first place. One morning I decided to go on a run along the beach, followed by a cool down under a palm tree facing the ocean. I closed my eyes and tried to understand why I had felt so separate from “my” sacred space. That’s when I realized that up until that moment, I had felt some sort of elite ownership of the island, a feeling that no one can truly earn because this earth is a shared space amongst all human beings and living things. I had arrived with an expectation that the beautiful land I was entering was going to just give me everything I needed, when in actuality, it had the potential of fulfilling everything if only I had respected the space and put in a little effort to seek out what I desired.

In that moment, I had a revelation that anywhere we are, no matter how familiar or foreign, we belong. We belong because we exist and the universe has placed us in that space at that moment. However, if we feel as though we are the only ones entitled to a given space, we actually bring about a strong sense of loneliness and bitterness onto ourselves. When we shift our perspectives to realize that places and instants are shared, we can then begin to decipher and appreciate our own individual experiences, basking in how wonderful it is that so many different people can benefit from a singular place, person, or idea in various ways. Life truly is what you make of it, and I had been blind to all the beauty that was still surrounding me, even if I did feel like it was a bit alien to me.

Moral of the story: when we enter spaces, regardless if they are old or new, we must be open-minded and acknowledge that we are not alone in whatever we are about to experience. We all have an individual right to feel and react in our own ways, and therefore we need to respect that this world also provides others with their own rights. Like I have said before, the universe is plentiful in its resources for us, but we must be willing to put in a little elbow grease to reap these means so as to reach what we are journeying for. Spread you’re light and love, and light and love will flow back to you!!

In the midst of the modern world, we find ourselves working towards goals in educations, career fields, athletic scenarios, and other similar situations that can often cultivate a sense of competition. I think that this element of rivalry between our peers and those around us poses as a large hurdle we must overcome if we wish to reach a state closer to contentment and happiness. We are all beautiful, talented, and stellar human beings in our own way, so we need to learn to ease up on comparing ourselves to our counterparts and learn how to genuinely want them to succeed in life as well.

Juneau, Alaska // June 2016 — Juneau, Alaska // June 2016

Personally, I have dealt with the feelings of insecurities and inferiority in my own life, and I know it is easy to at first approach the person who is causing such feelings with an air of scorn. However, I learned a powerful lesson after reading The Art of Happiness, by Howard C. Cutler, which reflects on quotes and ideas from the Dalai Lama. In a particular portion of the book, Cutler writes of his experience on an airplane where he immediately took to disliking his seatmate without any real reason. At first Cutler allows himself to simply just go on feeling some sort of contempt for this complete stranger, but then he realizes he needs to look inward and release himself from these spiteful feelings. He forces himself to look at his seatmate and find the similarities between the two of them, eventually breaking everything down to the conclusion that they were both human beings on this planet and that everyone has their luck and challenges in life. After coming to this awareness, Cutler detached himself from negative energies and was left feeling more at peace.

Now as I move through life, if I ever feel an inkling of a grudge towards another person seep in, I remind myself to take a step back and really break down what I actually know about the person and why I feel like I have the grounds to feel the way I do. Almost every single time I end up feeling extremely liberated as I once again become cognizant of the fact that neither one of us has to be “better than the other.” We all have our own individual journeys, there is plenty of love in this universe for us all to equally receive, and another person’s beauty and light does not take away from our own.

I think that in our contemporary society it has become so normative and casual to say things like “I hate…” in reference to someone or something. In all actuality though, do we really hate what we say we do? Essentially, does not one fiber in our beings feel less than hate for this person or object? For example, even if someone said that they hated pizza, they are taking a strong side. That is saying that the person could not even find appreciation for the smaller elements like the basil, cheese, crust, toppings, or sauce that went into creating the pizza as a whole. I feel that in moving towards a more positive universe, we need to start looking at the sincerity of the things we are saying, especially when it comes to hate statements. People can definitely have opinions and dislike things or disagree, but it is important to also recognize that you can feel that way while still, after breaking something down, acknowledging feelings of admiration or empathy.

Finding Belonging Without Overbearing

The Art of Releasing Contempt + Opening the Heart