Loneliness in a Hyper-Connected Society

September 07, 2020 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Back in March of 2019, I jotted down in my notes: “What are the pros and cons of being so connected through technology in this day and age?” Now, over a year later, I find this question almost even more relevant and worth considering. It is incredibly fascinating that through today’s technology we can contact anyone in the world at any given minute and conduct work or school from the comfort of our own homes, among many other things. While I recognize the extreme benefits, there are moments when I feel that our machines and devices are tipping the scales of connectivity, entering into a realm where we are actually more isolated as individuals.

The ability to gather international news and access an incomprehensible amount of resources from the palms of our hands, are just two of the ways that technology has forever shaped society. And it is definitely a balance, because without these means to connect, we’d lack even more empathy in the world, as it would be incredibly hard to maintain awareness for others outside of our social bubbles. Yet, there is a special energy that requires us to get breaths of fresh air and open ourselves up to factors of life that span beyond standard screen sizes. I definitely took for granted the ease of being able to get out and meander in spaces, an activity that exposes us to strangers and allows for the magic and beauty of unexpected conversations. These days, it’s easy to virtually transport oneself across the globe or even complete daily errands like grocery shopping, without even leaving the couch.

With such hyper-connectivity, it is easy to slip into the territory of loneliness and isolation – sometimes without even realizing that it is happening. In my own experience, even if I am able to manage keeping up friendships and enhancing my worldly knowledge from behind the screen, I tend to lose my internal sense of being grounded. Physically enjoying nature, being in people’s presence, and getting to separate work life from my personal space, are all things that encourage my overall wellbeing. After long extents of relying on digital means to satisfy my human need to connect and engage, I find that I then tend to log off with an extreme sense of personal discontent. Moments that I get to spend with the people I love and the small adventures like walking to get takeout are the mini wins that I have learned are key to my own personal sanity.

In an effort to stay hopeful and honor ourselves through the actions that make us happiest, it is so important that we make space for the people and activities that keep us tuned into our best selves. While we oddly are feeling the restrictions of being physically bound within our homes, the lines delineating our personal, professional, and social lives have become completely blurred. It is okay to not have everything figured out, or to feel completely lost in a society that is outlining exactly where we should or shouldn’t be this year.

I have a lot to thank technology for and without the innovations of today’s world, I would be feeling an incredible void. The opportunities I have had, the people I cherish most, even this blog, are all aspects of my life that have benefitted from the ability to transcend time and distance through devices. However, the seed of our souls were not planted to thrive with machinery alone. It takes a healthy dose of other elements to keep us balanced as humans. This equilibrium can be achieved when we are intentional with our utilization of modern technology. Predetermining our goals when we unlock our phones or log on to our computers can be incredibly beneficial; whether we are heading into a work Zoom, hoping to connect with someone, or dedicating recreational perusing of social media, making mindful decisions can keep us in charge of our time and happiness.

Stay hopeful everyone and continue finding safe ways to spark joy! xoxo

365 Days of Gratitude

November 26, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Exactly a year ago I nervously hovered my cursor over the “publish” button, eventually mustering up the courage to finally unveil this blog of mine. After years of using writing to heal and capture memories, feelings, and thoughts, I realized that a lot of my emotional battles would have been less destructive had I felt like I wasn’t alone in my experiences. I felt ready to be completely vulnerable, letting my heart and mind be an open book, with the hope that even one person would feel more connected in this overwhelming world as they resonated with the feelings I expressed.

Within just the first 36 hours, I had over 200 views, and a tremendous amount of love and support filling up all communication outlets. I couldn’t believe it; here I was, putting my most raw self out into the public eye, and what came back was the strongest feeling of care and belonging that I had ever sensed. And for that, I am indescribably grateful. From that moment on, no matter how low of a day I had, or how invisible I perceived myself to be, I could not ignore the amount of genuine love that still existed around me, even if it remained tucked away in secret crevasses of people’s hearts. While my goal with this blog is to inspire others, I am completely indebted to everyone who reads these words that I sputter out and to everyone who has encouraged me and unwaveringly stood by my side. Without such an amazing network of souls, I would never have been, nor would I remain, inspired to pursue my endeavors.

In honor of this one-year mark, as well as the season of gratitude, I wanted to share my appreciation and urge you all to reflect on your own sources of gratitude. So much of this journey has revolved around being my most honest identity, learning to accept all aspects of myself and recognizing the people in my life who embrace me unconditionally. With that in mind, I wanted to focus this post on emphasizing how important it is to live authentically, and how when you guide your life from the purest form of yourself, you magnetize so much genuine love and positivity. It is okay to be scared and to feel uncertain, but being truthful about these feelings allows you to seek and welcome whatever it might be that will make life a little easier and happier.

Sometimes the world can be daunting, the uncertain future anxiety inducing. There will be times where it is hard to smile, or you can’t quite peg what is getting you in a funk. We are human. But humans need connection, and despite every ounce of your being telling you that it is best to just hole yourself up and remain isolated for a while, keep in mind that there are people near you who either have felt your feelings, or are currently feeling the same way, and that they can help you through. It is beginning to be the time of year where traditions and family gatherings are at the forefront, and whether you end up expressing your appreciation or not (though I highly encourage vocalizing your thoughts!), reflect on how those close to you have impacted you as an individual, and how your presence has affected them in return. Maybe the person who has had a large influencing in shaping you isn’t even very directly active in your life, maybe it was some tough criticism that helped spark your now positively-attributed personality, or maybe you are fortunate to always have been filled with a loving warmth. Whatever it is, positive or negative, try to find the silver lining, give thanks, and appreciate all of what makes you uniquely you.

Don’t be afraid to let the walls of your heart down, to be honest with your thoughts and share them with others, and to acknowledge all of your experiences that have brought you to this position you currently find yourself in! Happy Monday, wishing everyone a week full of gratitude and light! Words cannot express how grateful I am to have such incredible support and such loyal readers!

Finding Belonging Without Overbearing

July 18, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Travel

Growing up, my family’s go-to vacation spot was Hawaii, and since my very first trip when I was just over a year old, I have always felt a sense of deep belonging to the island state. My name even has Hawaiian roots, meaning “awakening.” No matter how many times I have been fortunate to visit, Maui in particular, seems to ceaselessly call to me. There have been times that I have honestly cried because I longed to smell the fresh, fragrant air and feel the warm ocean mist again. As I prepared for this past trip to Maui, I eagerly anticipated the sensation of peace, oneness, and clarity that I usually experienced while there. Much to my dismay, when I finally arrived I felt frustrated and lost; it felt as though something I loved so much was rejecting me in a sense. The days seemed a little gloomier and rainier than I remembered, and the energy a little less uplifting.

I began to get upset with myself for feeling as though I was not harnessing as much of the vacation as I could have. As my remaining days on the island began to dwindle, the anxiety and unsettledness intensified, making it even harder for me to reach the level of zen I had been hoping to reach in the first place. One morning I decided to go on a run along the beach, followed by a cool down under a palm tree facing the ocean. I closed my eyes and tried to understand why I had felt so separate from “my” sacred space. That’s when I realized that up until that moment, I had felt some sort of elite ownership of the island, a feeling that no one can truly earn because this earth is a shared space amongst all human beings and living things. I had arrived with an expectation that the beautiful land I was entering was going to just give me everything I needed, when in actuality, it had the potential of fulfilling everything if only I had respected the space and put in a little effort to seek out what I desired.

In that moment, I had a revelation that anywhere we are, no matter how familiar or foreign, we belong. We belong because we exist and the universe has placed us in that space at that moment. However, if we feel as though we are the only ones entitled to a given space, we actually bring about a strong sense of loneliness and bitterness onto ourselves. When we shift our perspectives to realize that places and instants are shared, we can then begin to decipher and appreciate our own individual experiences, basking in how wonderful it is that so many different people can benefit from a singular place, person, or idea in various ways. Life truly is what you make of it, and I had been blind to all the beauty that was still surrounding me, even if I did feel like it was a bit alien to me.

Moral of the story: when we enter spaces, regardless if they are old or new, we must be open-minded and acknowledge that we are not alone in whatever we are about to experience. We all have an individual right to feel and react in our own ways, and therefore we need to respect that this world also provides others with their own rights. Like I have said before, the universe is plentiful in its resources for us, but we must be willing to put in a little elbow grease to reap these means so as to reach what we are journeying for. Spread you’re light and love, and light and love will flow back to you!!