grateful soul

Growing up, my family’s go-to vacation spot was Hawaii, and since my very first trip when I was just over a year old, I have always felt a sense of deep belonging to the island state. My name even has Hawaiian roots, meaning “awakening.” No matter how many times I have been fortunate to visit, Maui in particular, seems to ceaselessly call to me. There have been times that I have honestly cried because I longed to smell the fresh, fragrant air and feel the warm ocean mist again. As I prepared for this past trip to Maui, I eagerly anticipated the sensation of peace, oneness, and clarity that I usually experienced while there. Much to my dismay, when I finally arrived I felt frustrated and lost; it felt as though something I loved so much was rejecting me in a sense. The days seemed a little gloomier and rainier than I remembered, and the energy a little less uplifting.

I began to get upset with myself for feeling as though I was not harnessing as much of the vacation as I could have. As my remaining days on the island began to dwindle, the anxiety and unsettledness intensified, making it even harder for me to reach the level of zen I had been hoping to reach in the first place. One morning I decided to go on a run along the beach, followed by a cool down under a palm tree facing the ocean. I closed my eyes and tried to understand why I had felt so separate from “my” sacred space. That’s when I realized that up until that moment, I had felt some sort of elite ownership of the island, a feeling that no one can truly earn because this earth is a shared space amongst all human beings and living things. I had arrived with an expectation that the beautiful land I was entering was going to just give me everything I needed, when in actuality, it had the potential of fulfilling everything if only I had respected the space and put in a little effort to seek out what I desired.

In that moment, I had a revelation that anywhere we are, no matter how familiar or foreign, we belong. We belong because we exist and the universe has placed us in that space at that moment. However, if we feel as though we are the only ones entitled to a given space, we actually bring about a strong sense of loneliness and bitterness onto ourselves. When we shift our perspectives to realize that places and instants are shared, we can then begin to decipher and appreciate our own individual experiences, basking in how wonderful it is that so many different people can benefit from a singular place, person, or idea in various ways. Life truly is what you make of it, and I had been blind to all the beauty that was still surrounding me, even if I did feel like it was a bit alien to me.

Moral of the story: when we enter spaces, regardless if they are old or new, we must be open-minded and acknowledge that we are not alone in whatever we are about to experience. We all have an individual right to feel and react in our own ways, and therefore we need to respect that this world also provides others with their own rights. Like I have said before, the universe is plentiful in its resources for us, but we must be willing to put in a little elbow grease to reap these means so as to reach what we are journeying for. Spread you’re light and love, and light and love will flow back to you!!