The Light at the End of the Tunnel

March 20, 2020 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

It is hard for me to face the fact that I haven’t been able to fully create a written piece for this blog in 4 months, and even more eerie to me that the last post I published was one that urged for us to consider what matters most to us without a crisis forcing such reevaluations.

Now, in the midst of all of this COVID-19 chaos, we have all been infected one way or another – we have had to change the way we interact with each other and the world around us, adapt to the the ins and outs of our new normals, and shift the mental focus we place on various things. While my hope is that among the small silver linings that this situation poses – like having more time to spend with family and pursue personal goals that work schedules previously got in the way of – that at the end of this predicament we find ourselves taking less for granted, expressing more gratitude, and feeling more connected as humans. This moment in history is one of the many tremors that our world will face, but with each one comes the shifting of tectonic plates that is necessary for society’s reconfiguration towards more empathy and equality.

Royal National Park, Australia // July 2019

Recently, as my spirit was starting to lift after some rough past months in my personal life, I envisioned writing a post in May with this same title: “The Light At the End of the Tunnel.” It was to come alongside my college graduation, serving as inspiration for fellow students and those who have ever felt lonely, lost, or unsure if they would live to see their goals achieved. As I have said before, this platform was sparked by my hope that if I opened up and shared my own feelings, at least one person would read my words, realize they weren’t alone, and find the strength to continue to place one foot in front of the other. I figured that being able to write “from the other side,” as someone who successfully reached a big milestone in life, would be encouraging for people. Unfortunately, as a consequence of COVID-19, that moment of physically receiving my diploma on an official graduation day is no longer a reality. What I have come to realize though, is that the true success isn’t in finally making it to the end goal, but rather accepting the challenge of each waking day and continuing to push yourself in the right direction as opposed to giving up.

For a lot of people who know me in my private life, it may come as a surprise to know that my outwardly smiling and humorous persona doesn’t indicate the internal struggles that I have been learning to accept and manage. Having an essentially perfect and very fortunate life makes the emotional challenges even harder, as I feel like I don’t have the right to feel the deep waves of sadness that often overcome me. It is hard for me to reach out and express that I need help, let alone disclose to people that depression, anxiety, and eating disorders haunt my everyday experiences. I never wanted to be vulnerable and explicitly discuss these things for fear that I would pitied (something that my highly independent, stubborn self does not enjoy), so it only felt appropriate to bring them up in the context that I survived and succeeded on my own. However, I came to the conclusion that this was antithetical to my desire to help people identify with human conditions and understand that it is normal to feel grateful and happy for so much in life, as well as simultaneously endure times that feel unbearable.

I once read something that helped me come to terms with my own feelings, and perhaps you too will find solace in it: for those who are empathetic and finely tuned into the world around them, their scope on life allows them to see the oneness that connects us all, yet it does not extend in only one direction, forcing them to also experience the weight and sadness of the world at a stronger level.

While it is important to stay motivated and recognize that “the light at the end of the tunnel” proposes many positives, I think it is even more critical to acknowledge the successes of continuing to journey through doubt and darkness. It is also vital to not discount that there are many times when sunlight can leak through crevices. These are the instances in which the dichotomy of happiness and depression exist; these are the times when you can feel both whole and split in two. And sometimes, after years of feeling like a societal anomaly, one of the light beams that you encounter may be someone who finally lends a listening ear, accepts you for who you are, or offers to walk with you through the darkness and sit with you in the warmth of the light.

With all the uncertainty that we are collectively facing, I hope that we can at least gain a better understanding of each other and ourselves. Let us take this time to heal, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. These are times that call for the upmost acts of kindness, reassurance, and empathy. There are already signs of positive outcomes such as lower environmental emissions, so perhaps we can view this situation as an extreme way of hitting “reset” in a multitude of aspects. We should always be conscious of the internal feelings and struggles that one may be battling, but we should be even more hyperaware and considerate in a period like this. Sending love, light, and health to all! xoxo

How to Love in Every Situation

February 06, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Lifestyle

Happy February! In light of Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to do another special feature on “love.” Last year I wrote about a few things I had learned on the topic, but this year I want to write about something that I am still working on fully integrating into my own life - the idea that no matter how upsetting a situation is, you approach it with love. When we feel like we are dealing with someone on a different vibration than we are, or when we feel hurt by another person’s thoughts or actions, it is easy to turn to being unhappy, disappointed, and maybe even angry. However, these feelings are not productive in terms of mending and healing, which is why we must ask ourselves an important question: “How can I love in this situation?”

The world can be, and currently is, a very messy place, and in an effort to move forward in a more holistically positive direction, we need to begin to do as much as we can to guide our lives with love and empathy. Stepping back from situations and evaluating how you fit into whatever might be unfolding, is crucial in not only helping to protect your own heart and soul energy, but also in understanding how to handle such circumstances. Let’s say you are having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye with a friend, coworker, roommate, or family member. It’s easy to get riled up, to begin to plaster up the walls of your heart and mind, and to keep those thick layers of defense on for all future interactions. But what if, before you began to apply these shielding mechanisms, you actually expanded these channels? What if you took a look at the situation and realized, “Okay, this is how _____ feels, because of xyz…,” and you allowed yourself to simply bring some love and empathy into the situation? Now, not only have you saved yourself the burden of wasting energy on fortifying your shields, but you have also taken a third person perspective on the scene at hand, giving you the ability to see how the other person is approaching the situation and how you thus should respond.

This is not an easy task. And by no means does this mean that you have to agree with the person or feel unconditional love. All this practice is serving to do is to get us to in some capacity leak love into our every action, and the more love we exude, the more we will attract. For instance, despite having an emotional morning and having a lot weighing on my heart the other day, I decided to take a moment to myself in the car. I realized that my next agenda item – my weekly grocery shopping at Whole Foods – had no relation to the outside upsets I was dealing with, so I sat in my car and said to myself, “Alright universe, I am going to do my best to shed my fears, anger, and doubts, and just trust, manifest, and magnetize.” As soon as I stepped out of my car and went to grab a cart (with a very mustered, but nonetheless bold, smile on my face) I could feel love radiating. The carts seemed to be stuck together, and I was mid-struggle when a man came over and helped me out and reassured me that it wasn’t just me having difficulties. Once inside the store, I felt like everyone I passed was smiling in my direction, so I kept beaming back, to the point that eventually, my phony smile was really genuine. The feeling was surreal – all I had to do was decide to enter into the setting with love, and low and behold, there was love to be acknowledged and received. This just goes to show that the question of “How can I love in this situation?” is not just applicable in dealing with other individuals, but sometimes we need it for ourselves or for approaching general, public scenes as well.

At the end of the day, we just need to do our best at considering what we are carrying with us and how we can work on overcoming difficulties, as opposed to shutting ourselves off from solutions. Analyzing how we can be better individuals by better understanding those around us is essential to a more unified society that operates more effortlessly. Next time you find yourself welling up with frustration or scorn, try to evaluate how you and the other person may be living on different frequencies and how, even if it isn’t a familial or romantic love, you do have flickers of love to disperse to all souls. Allow love to flow through you, so that you may magnetize more into your life and also guard yourself from the repercussions that come from stopping up your love channels with frustration, upset, and other negativities. Feel free to reach out if you have suggestions, want to discuss something, or just need a listening ear! Have an amazing month of love!

Forgive Yourself

January 14, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Month one of a beautiful new year! As we become fully immersed in the last year of the decade, some of us might still be in the process of shedding the old. A huge part of the process of releasing is forgiveness – the absolving of all binds to remorse, guilt, or shame. But often times we focus on forgiving others, which is very important indeed, but what about forgiving ourselves? If we are in any way feeling chained to some unhappy aspect stirring in our soul, how can we expect to feel free and reach new heights of our being?

A great practice to incorporate weekly, monthly - whenever you feel like you need to take a step back and remind yourself that the past shouldn’t take away from the present and future – take a moment to just be. Regretting a decision you made? Even if you would have done something differently in the moment, you probably learned something from the experience, and who knows, it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise later in life. Wish you hadn’t said something that slipped your lips? In the moment that was your truth, and it’s okay to go through those types of mistakes. Haven’t stopped thinking about a missed opportunity? Let it go, because wallowing in that loss will only strip you of more potential moving forward. We are all human and we need to learn to love ourselves and trust the process. Being our own best friend and standing behind our own decisions (or being self reflective and recognizing when we could have approached something better), is crucial to being able to harness as much of our individual power as possible and living as aligned to our heart’s desire as possible.

Forgiving ourselves also means refraining from being harsh on ourselves for outgrown versions of ourselves that we may have a hard time supporting from our more mature and sage perspectives. Life is a journey of lessons! It is important to maintain gratitude for the ability to get to the point that you are today, to gain the perspective and capacity to even look back and realize you had room to grow. Socrates once said that he was the wisest man because “he knew that he knew nothing.” Being able to tune in and realizing there is always room for growth and acquiring knowledge is helpful in maneuvering through a world that sometimes pits us against expectations that we aren’t all molded to fulfill in the same ways. And a part of this journey comes from doing things that may lead to forgiving ourselves, because after all, we need to go through imperfect moments to appreciate the better ones.

Remember that when we are at optimal individual self, we are a bigger asset to our surrounding society as a whole. Melt away any unsettling feelings you have within your own heart and soul by loving yourself and slopping off any weight that is holding you down, so that you can ascend to a point where your blueprint is clear. Forgiving yourself makes room for more light and love to enter, and you can ensure that you are setting yourself up to receive an abundance, especially once you let the universe know that you trust and are healed. Whenever you are in doubt, look within, and tap into that energy that we all have access to – but remember that you’ll encounter fewer clouds when searching for what you seek when you are confident and content with yourself. Happy January and happy Monday!

What I’ve Learned About Love (+ Things Related to It)

February 02, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Happy February! In honor of it being the month of love, I thought it would be appropriate to discuss a few of the insights I’ve gained in the relatively short twenty years that I have been a part of this world. I feel like naturally February is associated with the romantic love that comes with being in a relationship, but there are so many other forms of love that deserve recognition too! Today’s culture has cultivated this trend of looking forward to Valentine’s Day if you are in a steady partnership, while the rest of the world holds feelings of bitterness and makes self-deprecating jokes about loneliness, but I am here to encourage us all to embrace love generally no matter the time of year.

1. Loved Ones Deserve Love – Since coming to college, I have realized that loved ones, like family members, often serve as our emotional bounce board since we take their love for granted. They are often the ones we feel so safe with, that we dump all of our negativity, rants, stress, etc. on them. Usually, it isn’t under after we’ve cooled down and recovered from whatever situation we were dealing with, that we realize the majority of our time talking to our beloved was spent hashing out everything but what should have been the focus of the conversation. Moral of the story here: although it is healthy to express your emotions in a safe space, remember to reach out to loved ones during times when its not just because you need a shoulder to lean and cry on. Express your appreciation and love for those that are close to you, and challenge yourself to reach out to people just to see how their days are or discuss something that is making life great at the moment!

2. Love Can Heal The Wounds It Causes – Referring back to the various levels of love, sometimes we find ourselves in a position where the love we had for someone is forced to retreat into the cavities of our hearts as we are no longer able to love that person in the capacity that we previously did. These instances can often make their mark by leaving a substantial scar on our hearts, which then arouses many questions, feelings of doubt and paranoia, and potentially, deep pain and sadness. However, unlike salt, if we add love from other areas of life to the wound that love itself created, we find that new happiness and growth appears in our lives. Self-love, love from family and friends, and healing love energies from nature can all help to not only mend a gash of love, but to also thrive and blossom into more loving, powerful, and tuned-in individuals. Moral of the story here: love isn’t easy, it can inflict just as much pain as it can intense comfort, but the important thing to keep in mind is that love is everywhere. There is not ever just one sole source of love, so there should never be a lack of healing love to act as a cure for times when you are searching for the antidote to heartache.

3. Love is Ever-Present – Like I said above, love is everywhere and in everything. Sometimes though, our love levels vary, not just for different things, but for one thing in particular. I think this most strongly applies to self-love, where one minute we are feeling good and empowered, and the next we are beating ourselves up over something. It is in these times, when we feel defeated and feel a bit lack luster in our outflow of love for something, be it ourselves or a life passion, that we must keep in mind that just because we don’t feel the same strong intensity of love that we have felt before, doesn’t mean that there is no love left. Sometimes outside factors or unnamable forces drain our current love (along with other emotions!) and we find ourselves in a funk. This does not mean that for instance, if you are an English major you should go rethink your entire life the second you just aren’t feeling motivated to write an essay! Instances of low love and deficient motivation only mean that we need to sow and tend to the flame of love that still burns within us, regardless if it is currently very dim. Moral of the story: as humans, our existence is reliant on the presence of love and we always have it coursing through us even in the times when it feels absent. Essentially, we need to remember to take a few steps back and listen to our souls in an effort to get an accurate census of our fluctuating feelings.

I know I am still a student of this Earth and that I still have a multitude of lessons to learn in my lifetime, but I hope that these small pieces on love have either resonated with you, provided you with some insight, or at least inspired you to continue to spread love. This month, I challenge you to elevate your love and reach out to an old friend or someone you appreciate, give a stranger a compliment, dedicate time to enriching yourself, or partaking in some sort of gratitude/love practice that you do not already consistently do in your everyday routines. Remember that the love you pour out into the world will be returned to you! Here’s to a fresh month dedicated to the driving force of our universe!

Honoring Yourself

January 11, 2016 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

As this new year begins many of us are setting New Year’s resolutions. We reflect on the previous year and ask ourselves what goals will bring us even more joy or bring us closer to the life we dream. Someone very close to me often reminds me that life is a continual journey of improvement, and that no matter where we start, every day can be even better than the last. This past year brought a lot of positive changes, and I learned a very important rule: everyone needs to take time for themselves and honor themselves in some way.

I recently went to a healing session, and the main message that was directed toward me was that I need to take more time for myself. Of course continually adventuring during my free time is fun, but sometimes it is good to take a step back from everything. Personally, I need to allow myself the space and time to organize my thoughts, reenergize, and get more in tune with my body. In doing so, I know that I will not only appreciate life even more, but the people around me will be pleased to be around a happier version of myself.

Honoring yourself can be anything that means something to you. Whether it be starting a new ritual or breaking a bad habit, or setting a reward for yourself once you accomplish something you’ve always wanted to do. It could be setting aside fifteen minutes everyday to read or write, sticking to your workout plan, or even researching a passion you’d like to pick up. Incorporated into my New Year’s resolution is to eat even healthier, for the sole purpose of feeling better inside and out. Recently I have battled with dieting and exercising as I felt that everyone around me loved me more when I was health-conscious, since taking care of myself results in looking better too. However, I found that I should want to be as healthy as I can for me, so that I can be happy, and not necessarily to gain acceptance from others. The key to common happiness starts with individuals loving themselves and finding contentment, and then spreading their happiness onto those around them.

Give yourself the gift of healing through the people, places, and activities that you cherish. We all deserve to breathe and attend to the needs of our bodies and minds. Feel free to share what you do to honor yourself! Here’s to a new year of being a happier, healthier you, in a happier, healthier universe!