The Light at the End of the Tunnel

March 20, 2020 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

It is hard for me to face the fact that I haven’t been able to fully create a written piece for this blog in 4 months, and even more eerie to me that the last post I published was one that urged for us to consider what matters most to us without a crisis forcing such reevaluations.

Now, in the midst of all of this COVID-19 chaos, we have all been infected one way or another – we have had to change the way we interact with each other and the world around us, adapt to the the ins and outs of our new normals, and shift the mental focus we place on various things. While my hope is that among the small silver linings that this situation poses – like having more time to spend with family and pursue personal goals that work schedules previously got in the way of – that at the end of this predicament we find ourselves taking less for granted, expressing more gratitude, and feeling more connected as humans. This moment in history is one of the many tremors that our world will face, but with each one comes the shifting of tectonic plates that is necessary for society’s reconfiguration towards more empathy and equality.

Royal National Park, Australia // July 2019

Recently, as my spirit was starting to lift after some rough past months in my personal life, I envisioned writing a post in May with this same title: “The Light At the End of the Tunnel.” It was to come alongside my college graduation, serving as inspiration for fellow students and those who have ever felt lonely, lost, or unsure if they would live to see their goals achieved. As I have said before, this platform was sparked by my hope that if I opened up and shared my own feelings, at least one person would read my words, realize they weren’t alone, and find the strength to continue to place one foot in front of the other. I figured that being able to write “from the other side,” as someone who successfully reached a big milestone in life, would be encouraging for people. Unfortunately, as a consequence of COVID-19, that moment of physically receiving my diploma on an official graduation day is no longer a reality. What I have come to realize though, is that the true success isn’t in finally making it to the end goal, but rather accepting the challenge of each waking day and continuing to push yourself in the right direction as opposed to giving up.

For a lot of people who know me in my private life, it may come as a surprise to know that my outwardly smiling and humorous persona doesn’t indicate the internal struggles that I have been learning to accept and manage. Having an essentially perfect and very fortunate life makes the emotional challenges even harder, as I feel like I don’t have the right to feel the deep waves of sadness that often overcome me. It is hard for me to reach out and express that I need help, let alone disclose to people that depression, anxiety, and eating disorders haunt my everyday experiences. I never wanted to be vulnerable and explicitly discuss these things for fear that I would pitied (something that my highly independent, stubborn self does not enjoy), so it only felt appropriate to bring them up in the context that I survived and succeeded on my own. However, I came to the conclusion that this was antithetical to my desire to help people identify with human conditions and understand that it is normal to feel grateful and happy for so much in life, as well as simultaneously endure times that feel unbearable.

I once read something that helped me come to terms with my own feelings, and perhaps you too will find solace in it: for those who are empathetic and finely tuned into the world around them, their scope on life allows them to see the oneness that connects us all, yet it does not extend in only one direction, forcing them to also experience the weight and sadness of the world at a stronger level.

While it is important to stay motivated and recognize that “the light at the end of the tunnel” proposes many positives, I think it is even more critical to acknowledge the successes of continuing to journey through doubt and darkness. It is also vital to not discount that there are many times when sunlight can leak through crevices. These are the instances in which the dichotomy of happiness and depression exist; these are the times when you can feel both whole and split in two. And sometimes, after years of feeling like a societal anomaly, one of the light beams that you encounter may be someone who finally lends a listening ear, accepts you for who you are, or offers to walk with you through the darkness and sit with you in the warmth of the light.

With all the uncertainty that we are collectively facing, I hope that we can at least gain a better understanding of each other and ourselves. Let us take this time to heal, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. These are times that call for the upmost acts of kindness, reassurance, and empathy. There are already signs of positive outcomes such as lower environmental emissions, so perhaps we can view this situation as an extreme way of hitting “reset” in a multitude of aspects. We should always be conscious of the internal feelings and struggles that one may be battling, but we should be even more hyperaware and considerate in a period like this. Sending love, light, and health to all! xoxo

Pushing Past Budding Potential to Get to Full Bloom

April 14, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Lately I have been reflecting a lot on how far I have come in my personal life, noting the key practices and elements that helped me get to this point, along with the areas of my life that I still feel like I have not completely unlocked. Inspired by Michael A. Singer’s book The Untethered Soul, I began to come to the realization that I am my own barrier in knocking down any walls that I currently have or ever will have. One of the most important aspects of my journey to where I am now in life, was that I always tried to follow the idea that you “grow through what you go through,” so whether it was one of my lowest lows or highest highs, there was a lesson that I tried to extract for future application. Secondly, in my past, the most prosperous moments came when I had decided to completely surrender myself to whatever life had in store, erasing any imaginative borders that could confine me to a specific outcome. As I have begun to once again ask myself how I can transcend and open myself to even more abundance, ready to focus on my inner self in a way that I haven’t been recently, I have pieced together that in an effort to grow, I must enter out of my “comfort zone” (a place that only exists because I arbitrarily decided that some things in life are scarier than others).

I have been visualizing myself as a little sprout, hoping to push through the dirt and see the sun, imagining that once I get above ground I will finally be able to absorb all the light and beauty of the world. That is when I realized that my perspective was that I had to struggle to emerge from underneath this soil that was blocking me, rather than noticing that this dirt was chock full of nutrients, helping me in my endeavor. This relief of recognizing that something wasn’t a threat to my existence, but was rather a helpful element that wasn’t worth fighting against brought so much contentment – so much stress was shed and I realized that regardless of my stage in life, I can always just be and welcome in all that the universe is willing to provide. Life shouldn’t be a continuous process to get to a certain point where you think happiness exists, there is always happiness and life waiting to be soaked up every day. We have to teach ourselves to turn this perspective into the dominant lens through which we view life.

However, living life free of stress, fear, etc. is easier said than done, and it definitely is not an overnight process. For me, it helps to set little challenges for myself that help me to physically experience and feel accomplished in overcoming things I presume I cannot. Examples of this can be running the extra two minutes even when you feel like you are going to collapse on the treadmill, smiling and saying hello to someone you don’t know very well even if you think you are risking ultimate embarrassment, or maybe it is just deciding to go to a different coffee shop or take a new walking route to test entering into the unfamiliar at a small scale. After successfully achieving the little goals you set for yourself, it is easy to gain a sense of empowerment that will help you to chip away at your larger personal inner walls, letting that warmth of light peek in, and eventually helping you to enter into an infinite space of possibility.

I highly recommend reading The Untethered Soul, as it does such an amazing job of underlying how much unreasonable attention we give the voices inside of our heads, along with helping to illuminate how to get to the point where life feels like it is an effortless, beautiful flow. We are all in a continual state of growth, but sometimes we hit those walls that require us to reflect on how we can push ourselves to bloom into beings that can truly make the most of every moment and surrender to the winds of life. Try to work on tuning out all the meaningless chatter that suggests that you can’t – it is time for us to be brave and slowly emerge out of the boxes we have placed ourselves in! Have a great week everyone! xoxo

Springing Into Brighter Days

March 20, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

With the recent time change filling our days with more sun and the official transition into Spring happening today, I want to focus on the shift in energy that we might all be sensing. These past few winter months might have left some of us feeling a little bit more lackluster than usual, not to mention that this past New Moon had the potential to stir up insecurities and fog up our abilities to easily make decisions. And all of these factors can definitely lead to feelings of being lost, experiencing “off” days, or other funky feelings. But, in honor of the month’s St. Patrick’s Day holiday and the idea of finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, there is luck and positivity to be found just around the corner! Also, let’s not forget that rainbows are formed by sunlight being reflected off of the water molecules after a rain shower, so it just goes to show that sometimes you need some rain to see the beauty of the light that is always shining!

Currently, Mercury is in retrograde (until the 28th), which means that communication can get fuzzy and certain aspects of relationships, or life in general, might feel as though they are going awry. I mention this, because I think it is important for us to recognize that we can’t let individual, specific events diminish the rest of our daily lives. Acknowledging that there is the potential for miscommunication and a little disorder can help us to take a step back and allow the events to delicately unravel on their own, without aggravating the situation. The Full Moon tonight, which signals the start of the official spring season, places an emphasis on relationships and how these connections require us to sometimes make a small individual modification. With communication vulnerable until the 28th, it is important to really reflect on who we are surrounding ourselves with and what our needs and desires are personally, so that we can have the smoothest interactions as possible. Remember to stay strong in your values and to be authentic, but be thorough in your self-analysis because we all have room to grow, especially when it comes to communicating with others.

I have said this before, but another reminder is that a little “spring cleaning” is in order under this fresh energy. Going back to the importance of relationships, this is a great time to make sure that we haven’t lost our personal selves in the needs of people around us and that the people we are devoting most of our love and attention to are positively replenishing that energy. This is a great point in the year to just check in with the intentions we set in January and to make tweaks that help us recalibrate as we continue on our paths. Remember, you have never completely lost sight of your trail, always continue trekking and you will eventually come across a clearing that will help you make sense of everything.

So with that, happy spring everyone! May the brighter days that are in our forecast help to stimulate a deeper lightening of our spirits! Be conscious of your interactions with others and make an effort to dedicate time to the people in your life who bring out your most vibrant self! xoxo

Approaching 2019 Authentically

December 29, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

With only a couple days left until 2019 begins, we have reached that point of the year where there is much talk about “New Year’s Resolutions.” While I think that a fresh year does provide a wonderful slate for us to evaluate and set goals, the idea of a resolutionconjures up the connotation of something we have been unhappy about and want to leave behind, as opposed to the idea of an intention, where we aim towards something, freeing ourselves from the notion of something negative while we set our sights on something positive. My personal intention of 2018 was to not let anyone dim my light, realizing that one person’s shine does not take away from someone else’s. For my upcoming intention, I have chosen to focus on trusting and living my truth, recognizing that everything will fall into place if I surrender and live life as authentically as possible.

One of the foundations on which I built this blog was the idea that if we all strived towards our own positive lives, we could radiate that onto others and thus have a domino effect, resulting in an overall happier and more cohesive society. However, while we hope to be positive influences to those around us, it can be hard to separate from the power of others who might stray us from our individual progress. We live in a world where it is so easy to interact with and be inspired by others, but that also means that we expose ourselves to more information, news, and social media platforms that can set us back in our pursuit of pure bliss. Some people are stronger than others when it comes to ignoring how they are perceived by others or making decisions completely on their own, and while there is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with supportive and guiding souls, it is important to never lose sight of the messages in your own heart and mind.

Tying together my 2018 and 2019 intentions, I hope to provide the message that we can all be successful and happy, and that a big part in reaching this for ourselves, is to wish success and happiness for others. Therefore, do not get dismayed by those who attempt to dim your light or upheave you from the path you are forging. Advice from outsiders can be quite beneficial, but if it does not resonate with you, move on. Like I have said before, there are multiple routes to the same outcome, that’s why the element of trust and knowing that you are currently the most aligned with your heart and soul are important factors. Trust not only means surrendering yourself to what the universe has planned for you, but it also means believing in yourself, so that when unwanted and unwarranted energies or comments enter your life, you are strong enough to keep shining your most pure light. After all, no one experiences life through your eyes and heart except for you. You are your own most genuine guide.

Reflect on this past year and think of all the things you have learned and gained, and set your own intentions for 2019 so that you can continue to live a life that you are content with. As I write this, I realize that many of my posts are “intention-like,” often focusing on aspects of life that I think are important and that have either helped me or I am presently working on as well. So with everything that I have learned this year, I hope that you too have learned something, either from my posts or in general, and that you keep on growing and evolving, because truly that is what life is all about. The journey doesn’t ever really end. You climb up the steep trails to one scenic lookout, and then you drive right back down searching for the next oasis on the horizon. Wishing everyone a very happy end to 2018 and a wonderful new year ahead! May we all be fearless, patient, grateful, open-minded, authentic, and trusting; here’s to loving one another and embracing new experiences! xoxo

Running Towards Your Fate - A Guest Piece

October 30, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration, Guest Writings

The following excerpt is written by my dear friend, Kaitlyn Uythoven. She never fails to amaze me with all of her incredible accomplishments, and I am grateful to have her in my life as one of my most genuine and supportive friends. I hope that her words will inspire you in the way that they have for me and provide a new voice, while conveying a similar message. The photos accompanying this post are also her own. Enjoy!

Over the last few months I’ve done a lot of running. I’ve run away from a lot and I have run towards a lot. I’ve become really good at clocking miles on barren roads that ramble through the tangles of my reality, my mind, and my heart. Life is like an ultra-marathon that you end up running without looking at the route beforehand. One moment you are hurdling down a descent with a wild, reckless spirit and the feeling that the future is full of endless possibility and unbounded room for growth. The next moment, that seemingly weightless sensation is tested and you find yourself drained on an ascent through adversity, doubt, broken trust, and all sorts of disillusioned expectations. Somewhere in the middle of the race, you learn to rely on your self-direction and to trust the process.

To bring this all into a more tangible thread of thought, the last few months have taught me that strength is about trusting when you have a reason not to. Strength is about loving people and situations even when you feel like your life has been blanketed in darkness. It’s about finding peace within yourself and embracing all of the minute complexities that make you inherently human.

For the bulk of my life, I have been a believer in the concept that if you fought for whatever you loved with enough ferocity, you could single-handedly control and guide your future with a little perseverance. While I still believe that this can be true and that John Wooden’s famous adage that luck is a residue of good design can still be valid, I have also learned that there are limitations to that belief. Holding onto something fleeting is futile; it inhibits the beauty of freedom and growth. Whereas, learning to let go, to thank those that hurt you and contributed the most to your own self-discovery, and embracing the fear of the unknown is extraordinarily powerful. Once one can do as such, they will often discover the next door to success, innovation, and greatness.

Running is similar to life in this regard. The author of Born to Run, Christopher McDouugall explains the connection the best by describing that when you start a new run on a new trail, “you never know how hard it will be or when it will end. You can’t control it, you can only adjust.” To embrace a challenge like that, you have to possess strength. But even more so, you have to carry gratitude, forgiveness, perspective, dedication, and patience.

There is something that is almost eerily beautiful and reassuring about the idea of fate and how it is inextricably connected to life and running. I believe that most events in peoples’ lives serve some kind of higher purpose and that fate brings those to the forefront. Recently, fate has guided me through life events and has introduced me to people that made me fall in love with running. Fate and running have given me a lot; I’ve found understanding, purpose, direction, and challenge. Somewhere along a run and along the way I discovered that light can be found even in the places that seem overpoweringly dark. So, at the end of the day, be fearless in your ability to trust others, even if they have hurt you. Life has a way of working itself out in the most unexpected of ways.

How Perspective Plays a Role in Dealing With Personalities

April 29, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

One of the beauties of life is that there is so much variety to it. Life breathes through the green shards of grass beneath our feet to the tiny microorganisms we often ignore, and of course, takes the form of humanity. At the level of humanity, life reaches a whole new scope of complexity. We are exposed to and interact with people who hold different opinions, react to situations in diverse ways, and overall behave in manners unlike our own. Sometimes our encounters with people who are wildly dissimilar to us, or even with people who we are close to who don’t always meet our expectations, leave us feeling unsure of ourselves and can cause frustration or confusion at a personal level. In an effort to make interactions with others as positive as possible and to mitigate any potential negatives, it is important that we keep our perspectives in check.

When taking on the world and all that is in it, I think it is easy to see things only through our own personal lens, using our uniquely individual sights and feelings to define what is “normal.” However, the fact of the matter is that we as individuals do not represent the entirety of this universe, we have it running through us, but we are all a special combination of its characteristics. This means that when we enter into a situation involving others, we need to step back and process the idea that not everyone is a perfect replica of ourselves and that we need to keep an open mind to others’ potentially different approaches. By avoiding turning to our default setting of using ourselves as a standard, we also dodge the disappointment that would come with the other person not meeting our expectations. Essentially, the goal is to expect people to be different and then be pleasantly surprised if we resonate with them more than we previously thought we would, or can at least view the situation as broadening our own perspective through trying on someone else’s lens.

We have to learn to accept people for who they are and recognize their own individual patterns in an effort to better understand the healthiest way to interact with them. If we know someone tends to air on a side much different than our own, we are at least then in the headspace of “okay so-and-so often times feels/reacts like this…,” and we can adjust our own advances in a way that is conscious of the other person’s habits. Often times in my own life, I have to remind myself of other people’s tendencies so as to better handle the situation and not get disappointed when the other person feels or acts in a way I wouldn’t. Trying to understand why someone has the viewpoint that they do also supports smooth encounters; for example, sometimes we need to be more sensitive to the other person’s background or current life circumstances.

All in all, with everything in life, I think it is important to take away the positives from every situation, so we generally should approach interactions with others as an experience to learn more about ourselves, as well as expose ourselves to the glorious array that surrounds us. Sometimes this diversity can lead to a sense of loneliness or confusion when we have repeated interactions with people that we don’t seem to completely click with, which is why we have to acknowledge everyone’s individual place and perspectives in this world. Don’t be afraid to be yourself and let your light shine as to attract others of your same vibrations, all while respecting other people’s different colored lights in the process of making new connections!

Renewing With the Spring Season

March 16, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

On Tuesday the 20th, we enter into the Spring Equinox, a time meant to revitalize and renew our spirits. In preparation for this welcoming of spring, we can look inwards and almost do a "spring-cleaning" for the soul. What's going well in life right now? What has been nagging at us that we can take action on? What's in balance and what isn't?

This is a great time for us to consider whether or not we are doing our best at fulfilling our souls, recognizing that it is healthy to take a step back and give our minds and bodies the time they need to recover before once again subjecting ourselves into a new physically or emotionally demanding situation (as lots of life's moments can be!). Revitalize by doing little things like taking advantage of these longer, slightly warmer days and letting yourself soak up the sun! Remember that if we don't start by first taking the time to respect and nurture ourselves, it becomes hard to be able to benefit and engage with society and those around us.

Someone very close to me just got me a sign that says, "Grow through what you go through," which I think is super appropriate given that with the change of the seasons we will see more of nature bloom, and we too can amplify our souls' radiance from within! Spring is symbolic of light, also making the concept of "you have to have darkness to see the light" relatable. I encourage everyone to celebrate this emergence of new life within nature, to get together with those who matter most, and to simply celebrate life.

I think a key term that encompasses the essence of this time is: balance. Life is a continuum of experiences and emotions, but the important thing is to allow ourselves the space to go through the varying times that come our way. I want to emphasize that there shouldn't be any guilt with pursuing things that enrich your life, whether it be going out to grab a bite at the place you've been craving lately or staying in instead of going out when you feel like you need a personal reboot. This seasonal transition serves as a checkpoint for us to take what we have learned thus far and try to utilize it to its greatest ability to positively impact the future.

Have a beautiful weekend and may this spring season give you the opportunity to revitalize and transform into even lighter and more balanced version of yourself!

Being a Warrior Within

January 12, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Moving into this fairly new year, there seems to be a worldly trend of reaching out and speaking up. The momentum is building up for a major breakthrough in standing up for our values and correcting injustices on various scales. Today’s media is loaded with news in regards to people coming out and speaking up in an effort to make the world a more honest environment. And while we might not all be making the headlines, I think it is important to recognize that we all have the strength to rise up and confront situations and issues that our souls do not approve of.

As we journey through life, we continue to grow and uncover more of life’s truths each and every day. Therefore, we must allow our values to evolve with us, recognizing that what we stand for can change (and hopefully this is for the better as we begin to appreciate what truly matters in life). I know from personal experience that as I have transitioned into adulthood, it has been harder for me to un-see or not acknowledge some ugly realities within our society. Small comments, jokes, and even the lack of compassionate actions no longer go over my head, and I often feel the urge to do my part and call people out in an effort to end the perpetual cycle of injustice that seems to be ingrained in our society. This isn’t always easy though, as the people near and dear to us are not immune from having different viewpoints that we might not be able to wholeheartedly support. Sometimes, instead of confrontation, we have to leave the situation at knowing in our own hearts we wouldn’t say the same thing or act in the same way (I am still trying to teach and remind myself of this, as I tend to make my feelings known…we are all human!).

Along these lines of being a warrior within, we must traverse the obstacles of life with our health and happiness in perspective. Although at times it might feel like we are helpless or weaker than someone else, we all have strength within us that increases with every action we take to better ourselves. For instance, in my own life, I was dealing with a situation in which I was scared of being alone and was compromising my own happiness out of fear. I make the analogy that there is one of those ancient balance scales in my head where eventually my strength slightly edged above my current situation, and I finally stood up for what I believed to be fairer. Showing myself that I was strong and could speak up (and survive it!), invigorated and empowered me, allowing my vigor to carry into other areas of my life. I suppose the essence of what I am trying to convey, is that we all deserve a life that offers us maximum happiness, a life where we do not even have to consider if “the grass is greener on the other side” so to speak. That’s why we must guide our lives from a place of assertion, firmly rooted in our beliefs and playing our role in making the world as just as possible.

St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands // April 2015

Make 2018 the year of you and the change you want to see in the world around you. At times we might have to tread lightly, but if our soul seems discontent with something, we should not ignore that feeling. We must act from our hearts and know that we all have a warrior within. We all have a strong pillar of light that runs through us, not only connecting us to the universe and shielding us from negativity, but that can also guide us through our life decisions and clarify our next steps.

Have a stellar weekend everyone! Listen to your heart and soul, and let them direct you in ways that illuminate the truth!