Bravely Stepping Into the Unknown

Life can often feel as daunting and uncertain as exploring the depths of an ocean. Sometimes we find ourselves in parts where light barely seeps through, where we feel alone, lost, and unsure about what we might experience in the next moments. 

Zion National Park, Utah // October 2020

While not quite the same, and far from the frightening dark with its incredible colors, the Narrows in Zion National Park require that one willingly enters into the unknown. There are so many uncontrollable factors – varying temperatures, water depth, strength of the currents, the uneven terrain - that remind hikers of their humanity and how nature cannot be tamed.  Wading through the Narrows means committing to trekking ahead, even in the moments when you aren’t certain where your foot will land or how high the water will meet you. If you hone in on the rapid current, or look ahead and realize you’ve lost sight of the ground, it can be easy to feel distressed. To get through moments of uncertainty, it can help to look up, take in the surrounding beauty, and remind yourself of all the elements you’ve already successfully overcome.  

It’s important to remember that sometimes you’ll have someone there to cheer you on, lend a supporting hand that you can literally lean on, and dust you off when you need some extra strength. Other times you’ll be forced to look around and find ways to work with what you have. And, the reality is, there will even be days when you’ll just have yourself to rely on – whether it’s a celebratory event or a low period. In these moments, we become strongest as we exercise our skills of surviving on our own, and it makes us more appreciative when we do have support around us. 

Personally, I know it can be extremely hard to muster up the courage to move forward. Sometimes recognizing all the support and love around you can actually make it harder, adding on a layer of “Why do I feel this way when there is so much positivity around me?” Guilt can seep in, compounding the negative feelings of not knowing what lie ahead. The effect that you are only sinking deeper and deeper may wash over. The key word is “effect;” the truth is that there have been challenges before and, often times, the worst outcomes of our daily stresses aren’t actually all that bad. Truly, it hurts us more to limit ourselves and remain stuck; It’s important to continue to make progress by bravely taking that bold step into the unknown. 

While hiking waist-deep through the cool, crisp water in Zion, I realized that it was easiest to trek when I went with the flow of the current and intuitively harnessed my momentum to leap from rock to rock. In this way, change is similar to a current. Resisting change and being frozen by fear, only makes it harder to navigate. Without surrendering to what might be and continuing our journey, we miss out on new possibilities and the potential to see an unthinkably beautiful sight around the corner. It’s about focusing on the fact that opportunity awaits, as opposed to the fact that you are halfway under water. 

“It’s about focusing on the fact that opportunity awaits, as opposed to the fact that you are halfway under water. ”

Without the power to predict the future, it is normal to get anxious about the unknown or feel overwhelmed. However, if we pause and log all that we’ve conquered in life, it’s easy to see that the magic in life is in all the crevices that we dare to explore. Cheers to being more fearless in this new year! xoxo

Compounding Change

Amidst these unique times, change has become obvious. We see differences in the way we navigate everyday activities, and modes of adaptation are at the top of the agenda as we discuss what our post-pandemic future may look like. As we continue to learn how to cope with the ever-evolving situation that our world is battling, we are also still experiencing the inevitable trials of human life that have always existed. Personally, I find myself dealing with immense feelings of change as I graduate college and attempt to transition into a new phase of life during this universal uncertainty.  

I am grappling with the reality that this current position is not what I had visualized for myself when I dreamt of becoming an official Berkeley graduate. The long-term planner in me had assumed that logically my first step in the real world would be to place my foot in the door of a stable career. After spending months preparing for dream opportunities, my prospects dissolved given the economic circumstances. However, in addition to a degree, my college years also bestowed me with valuable lessons that I believe will carry me farther than any formal education could. Once I got accepted into Berkeley, I thought I crossed off a big item from my life agenda; but, come freshman year I realized that there were holes in my fairly linear plan. I hadn’t thoroughly considered how my time at Berkeley would impact my identity beyond the classroom. Being a student was so engrained within me, and I soon found that there were points in my college career where my bigger objectives were to manage my relationships and maintain my health. Now - as I sit here writing this from the vantage point of straying from what I felt was a secure, original blueprint - I recognize that this period ahead is asking me to apply my larger ambitions and lessons to manifest abundance in all aspects of my life. Juggling the multitude of emotions and experiences over these last few years has essentially been like training my brain to stay balanced on a surfboard in an effort to ride out the waves of life with as much strength and confidence as possible. 

Berkeley, CA // March 2019

Balance cannot be achieved without training one’s focus. And, while the chaotic global climate has not been overwhelmingly positive, I will say that it has given me the gift of perspective. Last week, I took a solemn walk on campus as a goodbye gesture to the place I have considered home for the last four years. I noticed so many more details than my buzzy, rushed walks to classes ever allowed me to observe. My separation due to quarantine granted me with the ability to relish in the minutiae that I would not otherwise have missed until it was too late to soak them in one last time. A moment of epiphany occurred when I recognized that expecting this change was a blessing, and without the natural ebbs and flows of life I wouldn’t be able to enter this phase with the same brilliant force and appreciation behind me. I feel like my life up until this point has been the gradual baking and stacking of a cake; and, with my tiered foundation now in place, I am ready to continue the process towards my ultimate masterpiece, decorating myself and adding color along the way.

I suppose that in sum, we can never truly predict the dose of change that life will heap onto us; however, what we can do is choose the way we respond. In any situation it is important to stay open-minded to the lessons we may learn about ourselves, as well as foster gratitude. When we take the time to dive within and assess what we can and cannot control, we exercise our capability to remain stable during rocky times. Change has transformed our pasts into our present selves, and change is what is currently building us into better versions to embrace the future. Being thankful for growth relieves the blocks we subconsciously place on ourselves. It is by no means easy, but when we reach a point of self-trust we lose the tension and apprehension that comes with facing changes. 

Berkeley, CA // May 2019

These are scary times for many, and as we continue to face the natural ripples that affect us, we are also all weathering out this global tsunami. I encourage you all to notice your own strength and capabilities – your entire life up until this point has been one extensive course on how to stay afloat, and if you continue to hone in on maintaining your equilibrium, you will not have to fear even the biggest of breakers. While life can seem stagnate at times, other stages offer more action and require more adaptation. Let us not fail to remember that we have all survived changes before, and we have the power to conquer what may lie ahead. xoxo

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

— Rumi

Pushing Past Budding Potential to Get to Full Bloom

Lately I have been reflecting a lot on how far I have come in my personal life, noting the key practices and elements that helped me get to this point, along with the areas of my life that I still feel like I have not completely unlocked. Inspired by Michael A. Singer’s book The Untethered Soul, I began to come to the realization that I am my own barrier in knocking down any walls that I currently have or ever will have. One of the most important aspects of my journey to where I am now in life, was that I always tried to follow the idea that you “grow through what you go through,” so whether it was one of my lowest lows or highest highs, there was a lesson that I tried to extract for future application. Secondly, in my past, the most prosperous moments came when I had decided to completely surrender myself to whatever life had in store, erasing any imaginative borders that could confine me to a specific outcome. As I have begun to once again ask myself how I can transcend and open myself to even more abundance, ready to focus on my inner self in a way that I haven’t been recently, I have pieced together that in an effort to grow, I must enter out of my “comfort zone” (a place that only exists because I arbitrarily decided that some things in life are scarier than others).

Los Angeles, CA // May 2019

I have been visualizing myself as a little sprout, hoping to push through the dirt and see the sun, imagining that once I get above ground I will finally be able to absorb all the light and beauty of the world. That is when I realized that my perspective was that I had to struggle to emerge from underneath this soil that was blocking me, rather than noticing that this dirt was chock full of nutrients, helping me in my endeavor. This relief of recognizing that something wasn’t a threat to my existence, but was rather a helpful element that wasn’t worth fighting against brought so much contentment – so much stress was shed and I realized that regardless of my stage in life, I can always just be and welcome in all that the universe is willing to provide. Life shouldn’t be a continuous process to get to a certain point where you think happiness exists, there is always happiness and life waiting to be soaked up every day. We have to teach ourselves to turn this perspective into the dominant lens through which we view life.

However, living life free of stress, fear, etc. is easier said than done, and it definitely is not an overnight process. For me, it helps to set little challenges for myself that help me to physically experience and feel accomplished in overcoming things I presume I cannot. Examples of this can be running the extra two minutes even when you feel like you are going to collapse on the treadmill, smiling and saying hello to someone you don’t know very well even if you think you are risking ultimate embarrassment, or maybe it is just deciding to go to a different coffee shop or take a new walking route to test entering into the unfamiliar at a small scale. After successfully achieving the little goals you set for yourself, it is easy to gain a sense of empowerment that will help you to chip away at your larger personal inner walls, letting that warmth of light peek in, and eventually helping you to enter into an infinite space of possibility. 

Los Angeles, CA // May 2019

I highly recommend reading The Untethered Soul, as it does such an amazing job of underlying how much unreasonable attention we give the voices inside of our heads, along with helping to illuminate how to get to the point where life feels like it is an effortless, beautiful flow. We are all in a continual state of growth, but sometimes we hit those walls that require us to reflect on how we can push ourselves to bloom into beings that can truly make the most of every moment and surrender to the winds of life. Try to work on tuning out all the meaningless chatter that suggests that you can’t – it is time for us to be brave and slowly emerge out of the boxes we have placed ourselves in! Have a great week everyone! xoxo 

Running Towards Your Fate - A Guest Piece

The following excerpt is written by my dear friend, Kaitlyn Uythoven. She never fails to amaze me with all of her incredible accomplishments, and I am grateful to have her in my life as one of my most genuine and supportive friends. I hope that her words will inspire you in the way that they have for me and provide a new voice, while conveying a similar message. The photos accompanying this post are also her own. Enjoy!

Over the last few months I’ve done a lot of running. I’ve run away from a lot and I have run towards a lot. I’ve become really good at clocking miles on barren roads that ramble through the tangles of my reality, my mind, and my heart. Life is like an ultra-marathon that you end up running without looking at the route beforehand. One moment you are hurdling down a descent with a wild, reckless spirit and the feeling that the future is full of endless possibility and unbounded room for growth.  The next moment, that seemingly weightless sensation is tested and you find yourself drained on an ascent through adversity, doubt, broken trust, and all sorts of disillusioned expectations. Somewhere in the middle of the race, you learn to rely on your self-direction and to trust the process. 

Oregon Coast // August 2018

To bring this all into a more tangible thread of thought, the last few months have taught me that strength is about trusting when you have a reason not to. Strength is about loving people and situations even when you feel like your life has been blanketed in darkness. It’s about finding peace within yourself and embracing all of the minute complexities that make you inherently human. 

For the bulk of my life, I have been a believer in the concept that if you fought for whatever you loved with enough ferocity, you could single-handedly control and guide your future with a little perseverance. While I still believe that this can be true and that John Wooden’s famous adage that luck is a residue of good design can still be valid, I have also learned that there are limitations to that belief. Holding onto something fleeting is futile; it inhibits the beauty of freedom and growth. Whereas, learning to let go, to thank those that hurt you and contributed the most to your own self-discovery, and embracing the fear of the unknown is extraordinarily powerful. Once one can do as such, they will often discover the next door to success, innovation, and greatness.

Oregon Coast // August 2018

Running is similar to life in this regard. The author of Born to Run, Christopher McDouugall explains the connection the best by describing that when you start a new run on a new trail, “you never know how hard it will be or when it will end. You can’t control it, you can only adjust.” To embrace a challenge like that, you have to possess strength. But even more so, you have to carry gratitude, forgiveness, perspective, dedication, and patience. 

There is something that is almost eerily beautiful and reassuring about the idea of fate and how it is inextricably connected to life and running. I believe that most events in peoples’ lives serve some kind of higher purpose and that fate brings those to the forefront. Recently, fate has guided me through life events and has introduced me to people that made me fall in love with running. Fate and running have given me a lot; I’ve found understanding, purpose, direction, and challenge. Somewhere along a run and along the way I discovered that light can be found even in the places that seem overpoweringly dark. So, at the end of the day, be fearless in your ability to trust others, even if they have hurt you. Life has a way of working itself out in the most unexpected of ways. 

Snowy Search For Strength

This post is inspired by my latest travels to the charming city of Québec, Canada. Rather that start in chronological order, I'd like to skip to the very last moments of my vacation where we only had 10 minutes to make our second flight's gate after our first connecting flight was delayed. There we were, running through the Montreal airport, clad in our big snow boots and snow coats, heavy backpacks and suitcases in tow. I'll spare you all the details of our terrible experience in Customs and jump to the point where I race up to the gate and collapse over the desk while desperately offering up my passport and ticket to the agent, only to have her say, "Madame don't worry, we haven't starting boarding yet." And that's when I realized: why did I ever doubt that the universe wouldn't have stalled the plane for us so that we could be exactly where we needed to be?

Québec, Canada // March 2018

The entire trip got me thinking about how grateful I am that I have the opportunity to see the world and follow my dreams, which then got me mulling over the age-old debate of luck vs. hard work. Throughout our explorations everything found a way of working out and it felt like things seamlessly fell into place or were justified through later little karmic experiences. As I reflected on everything, I came to the personal conclusion that life is a balance of both "luck" and hard work. (I put luck in quotations because I truly believe that life is simply a blueprint of what the universe has planned for you, so everything is exactly as it's meant to be… hence we don't get lucky, we are fortunate!) Essentially, we all have the power of the universe working behind us, but it is also up to us to acknowledge the full potential of this power, surrender to it, and do our part in the physical world to achieve the full effect of our goals.

In other words, we are fortunate that the universe provides us with the opportunities that it does and ensures that what is meant to be will be (like making sure your plane is just as late as you are!). But the second that we realize that we have the power to change our perspective and statements from "I wish/hope/want" to "I will/am," we activate our "hard work" portion by harnessing the power of our self will to align with the magic of the universe that acts as the tail wind pushing us towards these goals that we have now affirmed we will dedicate ourselves to. I personally used to say, "I want to be a blogger," "I want to travel," etc. and for a while I was stuck in a rut feeling like I wasn't living my life like the person I wanted to be. Finally one day it hit me: there was no reason other than the fact that I was treating these things as hypothetical "wouldn't it be nice" statements instead of saying "I am…”. The entire time I had been sitting there aimlessly wishing was time that I wasn’t going out and realizing that I had all the tools in front of me (thank you universe!) to fully actualize my aspirations. I needed to make the decision to live purposefully because it was just a matter of me not running through all the wonderful doors that had been there, opened in front of me the entire time. And the funny thing is, is the more doors you say, "I am going to run through you" to, the more doors that seem to fly open on the other side. 

Québec, Canada // March 2018

The moral to this story is that even when life feels like you are buried under heavy clothes and baggage, do your part to run and the universe will make sure that the door (or in my case, airplane gate :) ) will be open for you in the end! I know I talk a lot about our individual power, but it's so true that we all have the power within us to manifest our dreams and desires. Be patient and know you aren't alone, trust in yourself and the universe around you!

Being a Warrior Within

Moving into this fairly new year, there seems to be a worldly trend of reaching out and speaking up. The momentum is building up for a major breakthrough in standing up for our values and correcting injustices on various scales. Today’s media is loaded with news in regards to people coming out and speaking up in an effort to make the world a more honest environment. And while we might not all be making the headlines, I think it is important to recognize that we all have the strength to rise up and confront situations and issues that our souls do not approve of. 

Nassau, Bahamas // April 2015

As we journey through life, we continue to grow and uncover more of life’s truths each and every day. Therefore, we must allow our values to evolve with us, recognizing that what we stand for can change (and hopefully this is for the better as we begin to appreciate what truly matters in life). I know from personal experience that as I have transitioned into adulthood, it has been harder for me to un-see or not acknowledge some ugly realities within our society. Small comments, jokes, and even the lack of compassionate actions no longer go over my head, and I often feel the urge to do my part and call people out in an effort to end the perpetual cycle of injustice that seems to be ingrained in our society. This isn’t always easy though, as the people near and dear to us are not immune from having different viewpoints that we might not be able to wholeheartedly support. Sometimes, instead of confrontation, we have to leave the situation at knowing in our own hearts we wouldn’t say the same thing or act in the same way (I am still trying to teach and remind myself of this, as I tend to make my feelings known…we are all human!). 

St. Maarten, Caribbean // April 2015

Along these lines of being a warrior within, we must traverse the obstacles of life with our health and happiness in perspective. Although at times it might feel like we are helpless or weaker than someone else, we all have strength within us that increases with every action we take to better ourselves. For instance, in my own life, I was dealing with a situation in which I was scared of being alone and was compromising my own happiness out of fear. I make the analogy that there is one of those ancient balance scales in my head where eventually my strength slightly edged above my current situation, and I finally stood up for what I believed to be fairer. Showing myself that I was strong and could speak up (and survive it!), invigorated and empowered me, allowing my vigor to carry into other areas of my life. I suppose the essence of what I am trying to convey, is that we all deserve a life that offers us maximum happiness, a life where we do not even have to consider if “the grass is greener on the other side” so to speak. That’s why we must guide our lives from a place of assertion, firmly rooted in our beliefs and playing our role in making the world as just as possible. 

St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands // April 2015

Make 2018 the year of you and the change you want to see in the world around you. At times we might have to tread lightly, but if our soul seems discontent with something, we should not ignore that feeling. We must act from our hearts and know that we all have a warrior within. We all have a strong pillar of light that runs through us, not only connecting us to the universe and shielding us from negativity, but that can also guide us through our life decisions and clarify our next steps.

Have a stellar weekend everyone! Listen to your heart and soul, and let them direct you in ways that illuminate the truth!