Critiquing What We Appreciate Without a Crisis

November 14, 2019 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

The question “What would you do if you only had 24 hours to live?” often elicits a response that does not reflect the person’s usual day-to-day life. This begs the bigger question of why the person isn’t naturally leading a life more reflective of their deepest values and desires. It has taken mass shootings to get people to advocate for change and enact laws to protect citizens. It has taken natural disasters for people to realize that we need to be more conscious of our environmental impact and implement policies that ensure that communities have access to resources. And, sometimes, once it is too late, we find that we have so many things we wish we could tell someone. Why does it take the verge of breaking points, tragedies, and crises to spark within us the values and considerations that we should be guiding our lives with consistently?

Watson’s Bay, Sydney, Australia // July 2019

Part of the issue, I believe, has to do with the lack of empathy in our society, a topic I have touched on throughout this blog. With the inability to deliberate on other people’s experiences, our society has lost the foresight of recognizing how individual actions affect the feelings and circumstances of others. Without empathy, we cannot fully appreciate life and the deep network of humanity that allows it to run in the way that many of us take for granted. For example, the next time you go to a coffee shop and treat yourself to your favorite drink, reflect on the links that have made that experience possible for you: the person behind the counter helping to serve you, the coffee farmers who worked to cultivate the very beans you will now be sipping on, and the laborers in between who shipped the products from their country of origin to where you are now enjoying them. Many of us go through our lives so quickly, isolated in our personal hectic schedules, yet there is so much indirect dependency we have on each other. So, why wait until an extreme situation to pause and see that we need to reevaluate our appreciations? Every day provides itself with an opportunity for us to inspire change and lead lives that align with our ideal versions of life.

I am in full support of the marketing and social campaigns that preach giving thanks and being especially grateful as the Thanksgiving holiday nears, but I encourage us all to really ponder on the way we are appreciating people and things in our life - this includes how we express these emotions of gratitude! Are we engaging in empathy and making decisions that have a positive impact on people in other nations or for future generations? While certain stresses and realities can get in the way at times, it is important to take time to think about ways that we are showing the people in our lives that we care and taking full advantage of the beautiful present moments we have. In some instances, we can spare dire moments through wielding tools of gratitude, kindness, compassion, and empathy in our daily routines (even if it is in a small capacity!).

As we get closer to the end of 2019 and a symbolic period of resetting, let us tap into our cores and ensure that we are on a path that allows us to live a life that speaks to our inner truth and acknowledges the togetherness that our world depends on. I hope that everyone soaks up the upcoming holiday season in whatever way provides a sense of happiness and peace. As always, thank you to everyone who supports this blog and to those who encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Smile to strangers, spread kindness, and love boundlessly – here’s to an empathy revolution! xoxo

Replacing the Notion of “Giving Up” with “Giving it a Try”

October 17, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

First off, I cannot believe it has been nearly two months since my last post. While I wish I had been able to maintain my writing in the midst of moving back to school, academics, work, and everyday life, it appears I simply could not, but alas here I am, and with that, a testament to the theme of this post: not giving up. Lately I have being struggling to come to terms with the reality of my feelings versus the ideal of persevering and conquering all that I originally envisioned accomplishing. I think part of my long hiatus from writing has been due, in part, to this battle leaving me with such confusion that most of my days are spent with my mind going back and forth, back and forth, until by the time I have a moment to “breathe,” I am so exhausted and cannot begin to even synthesize my feelings into words. As I reflect on how taxing this confliction has been, I come to the conclusion that my vexations would cease to exist if I ignored the impression that people would judge me for failing to continue in paths that I have begun to pave for myself. It is in this moment that I realize that I, along with everyone else in this world, have the right to pursue things, and then come to the realization that these pursuits do not suit me in the ways I presumed they would. After all, how would we know things don’t fit unless we try them on?

I don’t want to presume that everyone feels this way, but often times, I feel pressured to stick things out to the end. In the past, there have been many times where I have wanted to give up – and by give up I mean down to the kind that makes life itself seem like an undesirable feat – but I always found a way to pick myself up enough times to get on level ground and keep going. Coming off of a wonderful summer and feeling as though I finally reached a point where I was utterly content with life, I was excited to embark on a fresh semester. Just over two months in and I find myself reanalyzing my life, asking myself where I went awry. Did I take on too much? Am I not confronting the underlying truth that this time around I can’t do it all? Is that okay, will people understand that I can’t juggle being a student, working, maintaining relationships, pursuing passions like writing and working out, and also having time to simply just be?

One thing is for sure, I know that not everyone can understand the internal battle waging inside of me, because there are some people who I know can relate to internal conflicts and then there are others who maybe don’t allow the judgments of others to interfere, relieving themselves of a certain level of intensity. In fact, I don’t even expect people to externally acknowledge this everyday combat I seem to be fighting, since after all, it is virtually invisible, even barely discernable by those with a keen sense of my habitual tones and mannerisms. But because I know this, I also recognize that it is up to me to decide to truly live for myself. Why should I care if someone views my change in directions, my gradual shift in focusing on what truly makes me happy and what is best for me? At the end of the day I am the one dealing with the emotional outcomes of my life decisions.

So what I am trying to say, is that if you ever feel like the walls of life are caving in, and you are starting to entertain a new idea that works to reverse previous choices, don’t feel as though you are agonizingly bound to wherever you currently are in life. There is beauty in the fact that we are ever evolving beings on journeys that allow us to learn and apply those experiences in a way that advances us towards what happiness looks like in our individual lives. Realize that sometimes you have to fully immerse yourself in order to assess from the inside whether or not something - a hobby, a book, a job, or a relationship – is indeed the best for you. And if you realize that its time to change course, honor yourself for trying and understand that you aren’t giving up, that instead it is just time to give something new a spin. You should never regret “time wasted” going in one direction if it does not end up being your final destination. There are reasons why we are guided through detours; who knows, maybe without the detour we would’ve hit a roadblock and never made it to where we were meant to go, or maybe the least direct routes are meant to give us perspective in order to fully appreciate the view at the end of it all. It is okay to make u-turns, accidentally take the wrong exits, or even to not heed the signs at all, but it is important to remember to tune into your internal GPS that will respond and reroute you in the right direction.

Being a Warrior Within

January 12, 2018 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

Moving into this fairly new year, there seems to be a worldly trend of reaching out and speaking up. The momentum is building up for a major breakthrough in standing up for our values and correcting injustices on various scales. Today’s media is loaded with news in regards to people coming out and speaking up in an effort to make the world a more honest environment. And while we might not all be making the headlines, I think it is important to recognize that we all have the strength to rise up and confront situations and issues that our souls do not approve of.

As we journey through life, we continue to grow and uncover more of life’s truths each and every day. Therefore, we must allow our values to evolve with us, recognizing that what we stand for can change (and hopefully this is for the better as we begin to appreciate what truly matters in life). I know from personal experience that as I have transitioned into adulthood, it has been harder for me to un-see or not acknowledge some ugly realities within our society. Small comments, jokes, and even the lack of compassionate actions no longer go over my head, and I often feel the urge to do my part and call people out in an effort to end the perpetual cycle of injustice that seems to be ingrained in our society. This isn’t always easy though, as the people near and dear to us are not immune from having different viewpoints that we might not be able to wholeheartedly support. Sometimes, instead of confrontation, we have to leave the situation at knowing in our own hearts we wouldn’t say the same thing or act in the same way (I am still trying to teach and remind myself of this, as I tend to make my feelings known…we are all human!).

Along these lines of being a warrior within, we must traverse the obstacles of life with our health and happiness in perspective. Although at times it might feel like we are helpless or weaker than someone else, we all have strength within us that increases with every action we take to better ourselves. For instance, in my own life, I was dealing with a situation in which I was scared of being alone and was compromising my own happiness out of fear. I make the analogy that there is one of those ancient balance scales in my head where eventually my strength slightly edged above my current situation, and I finally stood up for what I believed to be fairer. Showing myself that I was strong and could speak up (and survive it!), invigorated and empowered me, allowing my vigor to carry into other areas of my life. I suppose the essence of what I am trying to convey, is that we all deserve a life that offers us maximum happiness, a life where we do not even have to consider if “the grass is greener on the other side” so to speak. That’s why we must guide our lives from a place of assertion, firmly rooted in our beliefs and playing our role in making the world as just as possible.

St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands // April 2015

Make 2018 the year of you and the change you want to see in the world around you. At times we might have to tread lightly, but if our soul seems discontent with something, we should not ignore that feeling. We must act from our hearts and know that we all have a warrior within. We all have a strong pillar of light that runs through us, not only connecting us to the universe and shielding us from negativity, but that can also guide us through our life decisions and clarify our next steps.

Have a stellar weekend everyone! Listen to your heart and soul, and let them direct you in ways that illuminate the truth!