Engaging in Empathy

August 06, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

This next post builds upon the idea of not just being conscious of things, but also acting with feeling and intention. The other day it hit me that one of the key components that leads to a happier, smoother life is the ability to consider the feelings of others.

The human race is a species that thrives off of connections with others. We run our best when we are surrounded by love, care, humor, and joy, all of which work as a give-and-take cycle that can only be made possible with other people. With this in mind, if we go out into the world and only act with the attitude of “what’s best for myself,” we can cause harm to our cycle of reciprocation and begin to push away the people who provide us with what we truly want and need in life. We often forget to take a step back and reflect on the potential outcomes of our actions, not only for our personal sake, but also in a way that takes into account the effect we may have on someone else. I am sure that for many of us, the last thing we would want to do is to hurt someone, let alone someone who is close to us. That’s why, it is important to ask ourselves before doing something that could have a ripple effect onto another’s life:

“Will my actions affect someone other than myself?”
“Am I willing to take the risk and potentially, knowingly hurt someone?”
“If my actions do end up harming someone, will I regret it? Is this person’s suffering worth what I am about to do?”

Essentially, it is important to weigh out the potential benefits and potential consequences of the things we do and say. This is important to do even in situations that may have virtually no effect on others, because it is important to always be conscious of how our actions and words will influence the next step or moment within our life paths.

Considering others’ feelings goes further than it’s immediate benefit (because caring about others is SO positive), but it also can help in finding appreciation in your own life. For example, if you close your eyes and truly imagine what it might be like to live in a country where health care was not accessible or you had to walk miles to get drinkable water, you might be able to actually feel the intensity of real people’s situations. Imagining what they must go through, things like being exposed to sweltering heat, yet physically pushing themselves, or showing up to work each day despite battling the worsening symptoms of a serious health condition, can put our own lives into perspective. Compassion and empathy don’t have to go as extreme as considering the conditions of another country. It can be as simple as knowing that a neighbor down the street is dealing with a tragedy, becoming conscious of how they must feel, and then possibly going out of your way to show them the love and care that exists in all of us.

This brings me to another point, which is that through empathy, we act in a way that is positively perceived by others since they feel our care and kindheartedness. When others feel you exuding such lovingness, they too will act in a way of compassion towards you, refueling that cycle that I touched upon earlier. We should keep in mind though that the ultimate goal of acting empathetically is not to receive anything in return, as being selfless in and of itself is beneficial for the soul. Basically, when we think of other people’s situations, we should treat them in a way that we would hope to be treated if we were in the same situation, because later on when it’s our turn to be on the receiving end, our considerations will be reciprocated.

The moral of the story is that without empathy we cannot reach our highest potential. We need others in our life to help us live fully and experience the essence of life, and to do our best at maintaining such relationships, we must act from a place of love. We must act in a way that considers how those around us might be feeling, so that we can therefore do our best to align our words and actions in a way that will get others to a place of more love and joy, rather than of pain and suffering. Sometimes we make mistakes, and just because we may hurt someone near to us, does not necessarily mean that they will immediately stop showing the care and love they have for us. However, over time, if we continue to ignore the feelings of others and act in selfish ways that harm those around us, they may begin to pull away and shelter their tenderness for us.

The next time you hear of someone else’s situation or go to do something that you know will have an effect beyond yourself, take a moment and think of the emotions one might feel in response. Do your best to fulfill your own happiness, but try to lessen its expense on other’s happiness. Reach out and express your empathy whenever it is possible. As we journey closer to our own happiness, we must not forget about the value of the happiness of others.

Being Pleased with the Present Moment

July 31, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

In today’s world it is so easy to get distracted by technology or lose sight of what is important. Sometimes it seems as if the likes on social media are more valuable than the personal interactions right in front of us. I recently read a quote that said:

“Nothing in this world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we are more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.”

This quote really struck me when I first read it, but a week later, when I faced the end of a serious relationship I had been in, the words resonated with me on an even deeper level.

As always, I like to share the lessons and ideas that are currently inspiring me in my own life, because I know we are all human, we all experience the same feelings and emotions, and we can all often benefit from similar advice. I am taking this article back to the root concept of why I started this blog in the first place: gratitude. The idea is that we have so much to be thankful for right in front of us, and the more we show appreciation towards what we have, the more positivity we allow to flood into our lives. With the growing popularity of social media, our society has shifted to a more competitive and materialistic environment. It becomes easier for us to see all the possibilities that the world has to offer, it becomes easier to get lost in the idea of “what ifs,” and it gets easier for us to feel less abundant in our own lives. However, all of us have the power within to manifest a deeper energy and to center our focus on what we do have.

For example, I feel fortunate for my travels to Europe that I wrote about in my last post; I know that not everyone has the opportunity to travel and may never see the places I was so blessed to have seen. But situations are all relative, and someone who may see my travel photos and feel bitter towards me, should keep in mind that if they are viewing my photos, they must have some sort of technological device, and not everyone in this world has access to the daily luxuries that most of us take for granted. Yes there might always be someone who appears to be “luckier,” but there will also always be someone who is worse off than we assume we are. Everyone’s struggles are relative to their life situation and the things that they value.

This is why we can all find contentment in our lives, because we all have the strength and ability to shift our mindset and realize that we have things that deserve more appreciation than we often grant them. If we start by focusing on small things and reminding ourselves to acknowledge (either mentally or vocally), what we cherish, we will find that slowly our brain will begin to pick out the positives without us even consciously doing so. Eventually we can all get to a point where we are left with feelings of mostly happiness, since all the tiny things that we appreciate add up to an overwhelming feeling of gratification. Also, as we find ourselves enamored with all the good in the world, we positively charge our own personal energy that exudes onto others. This leads to a cycle of inspiration as those around us start to become more positive, even if it is just a smile in response to being surrounded by your optimistic energy.

It takes more energy to dwell on what we wish we had, than it does to feel thankful for what we do have. Plus, all that time and energy we spend focusing on negativity goes to waste, as we then have lost precious opportunities to have turned those moments of disappointment into moments of good memories. It is important to not get distracted in the multiple potential outcomes of a situation, but to actually live in the moment to the fullest. Some of the biggest regrets can be avoided by simply returning yourself to center and finding what there is to enjoy in the present.

If you seek for what you do not have, one day you might look back and realize that in that same moment that you were longing for more, you were ignoring so much you could have appreciated in that moment. Do not wait until you have lost those things and it is too late to go back. So as you move forward from this moment, remember to take any opportunities to voice your appreciation, find at least one aspect of each day to be thankful for, unplug from the diversions of technology, and detach yourself from preoccupied thoughts. With each passing day you shall find that there is more and more in this universe to be grateful for.

European Enlightenment

July 18, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Travel, Lifestyle

Last month I was fortunate enough to get to travel to Switzerland and Italy. The trip was definitely needed and it not only added another stamp to my passport (much to my joy), but it also left me with a better impression of myself, the world, and how I as an individual can benefit from other cultures abroad.

I admit that in the past I used to concern myself too much with how I looked, how I dressed, and how people perceived my appearance. I would buy clothes with a picture-perfect vision of me wearing specific outfits for specific destinations or activities. However, spending 18 days in Europe with multiple hotels and various transportations that would become a hassle with a large suitcase, I was forced to pack with function rather than fashion as my focus. Leading up to the trip I was pretty nervous, was I really going to be able to live out of a small luggage with limited supplies?

After zipping up what would be my life for the next nearly 3 weeks and flying 6,000 miles across the world, I landed in my first stop, Switzerland. As soon as I stepped foot off the plane, a rush of relaxation, happiness, and peace overwhelmed me. The crisp Swiss air and rolling green countryside with the misty Alps in the background instilled a sense of surrealism from the start. As my trip progressed and I moved on to my next destination, Italy, I continued to loosen up and it finally hit me that the art of minimalism truly is beautiful. I was not only surviving, but thriving. Not once did I stress out about what I was going to wear, how I looked, or any imperfections on my skin. I was just living and embracing my journey and the world around me. Letting go and becoming minimalistic is not easy, but once you find yourself in the midst of simplicity, you realize it is much easier and relieves so much anxiety. Now that I am back in the States, I hope that I can continue to maintain my newfound perspective on life and keep myself in check when it comes to materialism. Sometimes there is beauty in few options.

Another European concept that really stuck with me is something that the Italian’s call “Slow Food,” a movement started by Carlo Petrini. The idea is to eat locally, traditionally, and seasonally, along with have a relationship with food in the sense that you know the story of where it was grown or who played a role in the production. I have always believed that it is important to eat fresh and as close to home as possible, so I was impressed that the entire country of Italy has taken to the idea and come together to really enforce such ideas. Something else that resonated with me, is that Italians have long dinners where they enjoy the company of those around them, detaching themselves from technology, and coming together over multiple courses of food. During my stay, I had the opportunity to go to a family’s home in Rome, where they cooked us a homemade meal and we talked until late hours of the night. It was one of the highlights of my trip, and with minimalism, I hope to also incorporate into my life more locally sourced, homemade meals that are shared with family and friends.

Overall, my trip to Europe really opened my eyes to the benefits of living in the present, giving yourself up to the tides of life, and fully embracing whatever is currently at hand. I learned how Italians get so many paid holidays; they even get weeks off in the summer, which are meant to be spent with family and traveling. The value they place on their health and happiness through the food that they eat, time dedicated to family and mental rejuvenation, along with other lifestyle aspects, really inspired me to make changes in my own life despite living under different conditions. My intentions are to gratefully enjoy my time with those I love as much as possible, place my mental health high on my list of priorities, fuel my body with sustainable products, and wean myself away from materialistic distractions. I think its time we all take a few Italian lessons and “vivi la vita.”

Chartering into the Unknown

July 09, 2017 by Alannah Paren in Travel, Inspiration

We all know the feeling: that flit of nerves mixed with the periodic wave of excitement. It comes as a natural reaction whenever we cannot mentally prepare for what lies ahead in our life paths. This post is inspired by my last summer’s unforgettable trip to the wilds of Alaska, a land with much to still be discovered.

The White Pass train chugged deep into the forests of Skagway, Alaska. I was a long way from home and I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see during this over three-hour-long excursion. The fact that I was on a train was a miracle, because I have always had an inherent, yet unjustifiable, fear of trains. As the picturesque scenery sailed by, I tuned into the tour guide informing us of the pioneers who first trekked the land that was now before us. And that’s when I started drifting off into a new series of thoughts. The fact that people willingly decided to travel so far into the unknown amazed me. I realized that if someone could embrace the mystery of the future on such a grand scale, I could embrace the change that is to come in my own life.

I go through periods where I am super excited about what is to come and I realize it won’t be as bad as I previously thought, and then before you know it I have again fallen into a self-created tremor. Why is it that embracing the future can come in such a drastic range of emotions? I think sometimes the present is so good that we want to hold on to it forever, which can create resistance towards the potential of losing what we currently have. However, I have found that in being so upset over “what ifs,” we miss out on fully enjoying things when we do have them. Sometimes it isn’t even an external change that causes us to spoil the good things in life, but rather our own fear of ruining them that leads to exactly what we wanted to prevent.

I have grown to love the mantra, “Everything happens for a reason,” because it is so true. We all have somewhere we are supposed to be, we are all divinely guided if we allow ourselves to be. We need to shed the worry, fear, and paranoia, and let the faith, joy, and love flood through. We need to savor every second and trust that the unknown is only unknown to us, but that it has been scoped out for us.

All of us have the potential to be courageous when it comes to embracing change.

Honoring Yourself

January 11, 2016 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

As this new year begins many of us are setting New Year’s resolutions. We reflect on the previous year and ask ourselves what goals will bring us even more joy or bring us closer to the life we dream. Someone very close to me often reminds me that life is a continual journey of improvement, and that no matter where we start, every day can be even better than the last. This past year brought a lot of positive changes, and I learned a very important rule: everyone needs to take time for themselves and honor themselves in some way.

I recently went to a healing session, and the main message that was directed toward me was that I need to take more time for myself. Of course continually adventuring during my free time is fun, but sometimes it is good to take a step back from everything. Personally, I need to allow myself the space and time to organize my thoughts, reenergize, and get more in tune with my body. In doing so, I know that I will not only appreciate life even more, but the people around me will be pleased to be around a happier version of myself.

Honoring yourself can be anything that means something to you. Whether it be starting a new ritual or breaking a bad habit, or setting a reward for yourself once you accomplish something you’ve always wanted to do. It could be setting aside fifteen minutes everyday to read or write, sticking to your workout plan, or even researching a passion you’d like to pick up. Incorporated into my New Year’s resolution is to eat even healthier, for the sole purpose of feeling better inside and out. Recently I have battled with dieting and exercising as I felt that everyone around me loved me more when I was health-conscious, since taking care of myself results in looking better too. However, I found that I should want to be as healthy as I can for me, so that I can be happy, and not necessarily to gain acceptance from others. The key to common happiness starts with individuals loving themselves and finding contentment, and then spreading their happiness onto those around them.

Give yourself the gift of healing through the people, places, and activities that you cherish. We all deserve to breathe and attend to the needs of our bodies and minds. Feel free to share what you do to honor yourself! Here’s to a new year of being a happier, healthier you, in a happier, healthier universe!

Be Conscious of What You Eat

July 28, 2015 by Alannah Paren in Lifestyle

About a month ago, I broke my vegetarianism of over ten years. Now for some that decision may be easy, but I had gone more than half my life without meat and still to this day have yet to have a burger or steak. I was the person that would freak out if you offered me anything that had touched meat or been served with the same utensil as a carnivore’s delight. However, I finally decided that my goals for myself simply could not be achieved unless I introduced animal protein into my diet. Being the only vegetarian in my family and amongst my friends, I was well supported in my decision.

Now just because I have bridged the gap between being a vegetarian and being an omnivore, does not mean I do not support vegetarian diets. I still whole-heartedly believe that vegetarians reap health benefits that I am now voiding myself from. Yet, my overall belief that covers all bases is the idea that whatever we put into our bodies must be healthy and happy itself so that we as consumers can be healthy and happy.

I try to eat as organically as possible (although not all foods need be organically grown). I eat pasture-raised, grass fed eggs; and I only eat organic, grass-fed, and humanely raised poultry. I also like to eat as close to nature as possible, meaning that the less processed something is, the better I feel it is for you. Buying raw ingredients in bulk and replicating my own dishes from scratch is something I find quite fulfilling.

I think that every living thing takes on properties based on how it is treated or raised. Fueling our bodies with positive and happy ingredients yields a happier and healthier individual. And it is okay to every now and then indulge in something that is a little high in fat or has a dab of artificial substances, but the cleaner your diet is on a daily basis, the more your body will thank you. It is all about being conscious of everything you put into your body. Know the ingredients and nutritional content, cut back on the ingredients you cannot pronounce, and acknowledge what you eat, even if it is unhealthy. The more conscious you become, the more your body will savor the food you feed it.

Don’t forget to thank the food you put in your body!

The Power of Gratitude in My Own Life

June 26, 2015 by Alannah Paren in Inspiration

I’ve come a long way to get to this first post. It was hard to herd all my thoughts and ideas to finally come together in this first introduction. But alas I have decided that it is probably most fitting to discuss where I’ve come from and honor the attribute that this blog is named after.

In a span of four months last year, I experienced what I would say was the worst part of my life thus far. I was a part of a three car collision which led to sciatica damage, I was dealing with a ridiculous work load, and just when I thought things might be on the mend, my nearly year and a half relationship came to an end. I was depressed and I felt trapped. I felt like there was too much debris to shovel aside to get to where I eventually wanted to be. Every little thing that didn’t go my way was amplified into one big pile of depression and reasons why I wanted life to end. At the time I didn’t realize that I was my own worst enemy, feeding the negative and magnetizing it even more.

Towards the end of this emotionally exhausting time period, I was fortunate enough to get the opportunity to travel to Costa Rica, and I think that had I not had the opportunity to view life in a new perspective, I definitely would not have survived the breakup that came shortly after my return home. I finally realized that I was stronger than I thought and the ability to meet new people and soak up the adventure and beauty of the world was extremely healing. Immersing myself into a new culture and being welcomed by the natives gave me further insight into the power humanity has when it comes together with a common goal in mind.

Not long after that, when I was still ignoring the sadness and pretending to be strong (in the effort that one day I would wake up actually feeling the way I knew I should), I stumbled upon some very influential findings: “The Five-Minute Journal” and a collection of quotations specifically for a “beautiful life.” I splurged on both of these little books and I am so thankful that I did. Every morning I write the things I am grateful for, what would make the day great, and an affirmation (all of which are outlined in the journal) and then in the evening I reflect on the day and randomly flip to three quotations. There is power in positivity. In the following weeks and months after I started my gratifying ritual in January, I got another chance to travel the world along with many more amazing opportunities. My soul felt uplifted, and even I saw the happiness radiating through my skin.

So now, less than six months later, I am here to share my story and inspire others as we work toward a world full of equality, happiness, and gratitude. Sometimes it is hard, but surrendering ourselves to optimism and focusing our thoughts on the good brings us strides closer to total happiness. This blog will celebrate the positive acts accomplished on many levels, along with outlining ways to achieve the happiest version of yourself, inside and out.

For starters, begin with starting your mornings honoring what you are grateful for and envisioning how you want the day to go. At the end of the day, make it a goal to unplug and tune into yourself, reflecting on your day. Add this exercise to your own daily ritual and tweak it to better fit your personal routine. A positive universe, starts with you.